Dating expectations often mess things up for everyone – you’re hoping for things to go a certain way, but she seems hot and cold, and you don’t really understand why. They say that love has no expectations, but that’s not entirely true with online dating. Between the rejection, the lack of response from many women, and the sheer difficulty of gauging the other person’s reaction through a digital screen, things are not at all what you thought they’d be. That’s why it’s important to have realistic expectations and some good strategies set in place.
Online dating is one of the most convenient ways to meet new people, so thousands of men and women sign up to online dating websites every year, hoping to find romance. Some of them, however, end up disappointed because of their high dating expectations.
Here are 10 online dating tips to help you adjust your expectations:
A lot of men and women enter the dating scene with a lot of excitement, only for it to drop after several weeks. The right person won’t come up immediately, so there is some work involved here. There are a lot of frogs waiting to be kissed (or messaged!) before finding the princess, so don’t get discouraged when things don’t go well immediately. The expectations of a man can sometimes come between him and his happiness.
A mistake a lot of men make is that they’re essentially setting their dating expectations too high by wanting to date outside their league, so to speak. It’s superficial and unfortunate, but generally speaking, we can’t all date 9s and 10s. The acceptable dating pool needs to be a little wider than that. Keep an open mind both in terms of looks and personality — you will have more options and you never know what can come of an “imperfect” romance.
One of the biggest issues men report with online dating is a lack of response from a lot of the women they message – it’s disheartening. However, women receive a lot of messages – impersonal, at best, and inappropriate, at worst. So, if you want to increase your chances, be a man who pays attention to her profile and be friendly and respectful.
Even when you’ve been chatting with a particularly nice lady for a decent amount of time, a meeting in real life may not be in the cards in the immediate future. A lot of people are reluctant to immediately go out with someone they met online. After all, you are perfect strangers. Dating relationships take time to develop; have patience and show her you are a trustworthy person.
You don’t have to be a relationship expert to know that another major issue people encounter in online dating is that their intentions are not always clear through messages. Things can be interpreted so easily and since you can’t see the other person’s facial expressions, it’s all a bit difficult to gauge appropriately. Communication can be frustrating, so be aware of possible meanings, to avoid misunderstandings and poor reactions.
Misunderstandings are possible on your part, too! Just because it seems like she is saying a certain thing, it doesn’t mean that is her intention. Early dating is always awkward, so it’s safe to never make assumptions as to the meaning of her messages. If you are ever unsure, always ask her to clarify. Do not allow your expectations in dating to fill in the blanks.
Something to be aware of is that people often “embellish” the truth online, or present themselves from flattering angles, both in terms of appearance and personality. So, don’t be surprised when you meet in real life and realize that she is a bit different than she seemed. It’s very difficult to tell what a person is like through messages only, so there is some leeway here. She is putting her best foot forward as most of us do.
Some people are straight-up lying in their profiles. The phenomena of impersonating someone else online or making up a different persona is known as “catfishing”. You can be compassionate and trusting, but not naïve – if it seems to good to be true, it probably is. Maintain a healthy dose of skepticism in your interactions, to avoid disappointment.
Sometimes, when an interaction is going particularly well, a man will become too eager, too soon. Wanting to progress the relationship and take it to the next level is great, but people are on different romantic timelines. Falling in love takes time. By wanting to advance things so quickly, this may be one of those dating expectations that can end the relationship prematurely.
In the end, is dating with no expectations possible? Not really — the secret to dating successfully without being disappointed is to have realistic expectations from the very beginning. Be aware of common behaviors in online dating and possible disappointments that may come up along the way. Equally important is to be aware of what you can do to improve your chances and the interactions you are having on these platforms. While online dating may be criticized for being impersonal and difficult, it’s also a way of bringing people together and allowing them to find romance in unexpected places.