As online dating becomes more popular, the number of men looking for their future wife abroad grows, especially for wives and girlfriends from Eastern Europe. At the same time, the number of stories appearing in the press about men being scammed by women from Russia or other Eastern European countries is constantly increasing.
It has led many men to ask themselves if any Ukrainian ladies are genuinely online because they want to meet a man and fall in love or if they’re all gold diggers, going after men for their money or a visa so they could live abroad. The answer to this question is that there are lots of Eastern European women out there who are looking for true love and are genuine, the majority in fact. This doesn’t mean that men shouldn’t be careful and cautious when it comes to looking for love online.
To understand why Russian women are looking for husbands abroad, you must look at the history of this country. In the 1990s, after the USSR separated and became a bunch of different countries, each of them experienced a whole host of social issues that they’re still coming to terms with today, including poverty, a lack of understanding about the way the world works and their place in it, and a lack of faith. Eventually, this led to many people experiencing issues such as alcoholism and substance abuse.
Men were particularly hard hit as Russia is a traditional country where males are supposed to be the breadwinners and females are supposed to look after the family and home. It meant they were especially prone to abusing alcohol and drugs and that they couldn’t provide for their families. This exacerbated an already difficult situation for women looking to get married as, across Russia, there were already fewer men of marrying age than there were women, meaning they began to look further abroad for their future husband.
North America and Western Europe are ideal places for Russian women to look as they believe men in these countries are more hard-working and serious than Russian males and that they’re less likely to drink and take drugs. Russian women also believe western men will be better providers for their family and will make better husbands.
For many men in these Western countries, Russian women offer exactly what they are looking for in a wife, someone who shares their traditional values of caring for the home and hearth and putting their husband first before all others, something they don’t feel they can find in women in their home countries.
There’s a very practical side to this, with both partners realizing that, while love is important, sharing common values and life goals is a must as well. Without these, it’s unlikely a relationship will last. Online dating is a perfect solution to these problems.
Without a doubt, there are women out there looking to scam men out of their money or use them to get visas before leaving them high and dry, and probably more than a little poorer. This isn’t about most women though, and it shouldn’t put you off online dating. You just need to be aware and keep your wits about you.
The US State Department calls scams involving Russian brides “Boris and Natasha” scams because they involve a not very attractive man pretending to be a very attractive woman. These men play the long-game, convincing innocent men from abroad that they are a beautiful Russian woman who has fallen in love with them. Then, when they feel the relationship has developed enough for the victim to trust them, they ask for money to pay for repairs to “her” car or medical bills for a sick parent or another relative.
Of course, not all Russian scams are carried out by men impersonating women. Women try to take advantage of men looking for love too, going to so far as to marry them and move to their country to get a residency visa or take advantage of them financially if they are well off. Certain groups of men are particularly vulnerable to such women, those that are lonely, too keen on a relationship, and those in the military, where women can take advantage of the added benefits of being married to someone in the armed forces such as housing allowances.
Once they’ve met the requirements of getting a visa, being married for however many years, for example, they will file for divorce. Afterward, they can stay in the country legally and continue to get money from you through the divorce agreement. In some cases, in the US for example, they can gain residency even before their green card is issued under the Violence Against Women Act by making claims of domestic abuse.
It might seem hard to believe that a woman would go so far as marrying a man she didn’t love to move to another country, but it’s, unfortunately, a reality. Every year, the US alone issues 300,000 marriage visas, of which a third might be fraudulent. Catching a fraudster is hard, however, and only a few thousand are convicted each year, making it a low-risk proposition for a woman looking to scam you.
Reading the ways people are scammed, you may think you would never fall for it, but it’s not that simple. Scammers take their time getting to know you and playing the long game. They might not ask for money for months, and then only small amounts at first, or they may appear reluctant to leave Russia to marry you saying they want to stay in their own country. These are all ways of convincing you they’re genuine and not out to defraud you.
Scammers play on what they know about you from your profile, creating a perfect girlfriend who likes everything you like and believes everything you believe. They will come across as deeply in love with you, infatuated even, to build a connection that you feel is real. Of course, the problem here is that the woman you’ve met might be genuine and falling in love with you. It’s hard to tell, which is why scams work.
What makes it harder for you to detect is that some women are trained to take advantage, putting themselves through what’s known as Bitch Schools, where they pay around $200 for a course that lasts six weeks and covers subjects such as snaring a billionaire and seducing a man. Some Bitch Schools promise women they can teach them how to marry a man in three months. Not all women who take these courses will be scammers, some will just want to improve their chances of finding a husband, but it makes it more difficult for you to figure out if you’re being conned or not.
When you sign up for online dating sites, regardless of whether you wonder how to date Russian girls, you should always be aware that there may be people out there wanting to take advantage of you and that if you’re looking for love internationally, the chances of people running scams is slightly higher. You can help protect yourself in several different ways.
First of all, never send a woman money, even if she says her life depends on it. No Russian woman would ask you for money if she’s genuine, she would have too much pride so there’s a good chance you’re getting scammed. If you want to show a woman you like her, spend your money on sending her a gift that she will appreciate. If she reacts badly, you’ll know she doesn’t really care about you.
Also, trust your gut. If you feel like something isn’t quite right, then take a step back. If a dating site you use offers video chat, for example, but your girlfriend won’t ever go on there to talk to you, maybe there’s a chance that she’s a “Boris”, a man pretending to be the woman of your dreams. Insist you see each other, even if just for a few minutes, so you can check she is who she says she is or look for other women instead who are not afraid to let you see their face real-time.
Finally, find a site with a reputation for having genuine women as members. On FindBride.com, you get just that. We have a team in place that reviews women that sign up to check they are honest and are who they say they are before you get to see their profiles. You don’t get this level of service from free dating sites, which is where most scammers spend their time trawling for men, so you can feel safe and secure in your quest for true love.