While many people believe that Russian weddings are similar to the western ones, they do follow some distinct traditions. We will try to give you a clear understanding of the different traditions and customs which are a part of the Russian bridal culture.
Russian women consider marriage to be quite a sacred and extremely important life event. Like in some of the other countries, matchmakers are sent to the house of the bride in Russia. The matchmaker sets a particular day when the groom’s family can visit the place of the bride-to-be. The formal conversation takes place, and it is the parents of the bride who actually take time to respond. It is after the second or third call of the matchmaker that the final decision is actually made. The matchmaker gives a loaf of bread to the family of the bride-to-be. If the answer is positive, the family accepts the bread and cuts it, but if it is returned intact, this means that the answer is “No”.
In order to ensure that the process goes smoothly and the final result is successful, certain rituals can be observed. For instance, the Russians have a firm belief that Wednesdays and Fridays are not suitable for any wedding-related activities. Also, the date 13th is not considered to be good for any matchmaking or wedding festivities. On the other hand, the odd numbers like 3,5,7, and 9 are considered to be a lucky date for the wedding.
There is a belief that matchmaking should never take place after the sunset in order to avoid jinxing. Also, meeting or talking to anyone on your way to matchmaking is considered a bad omen. The Russian women tie all the forks and the pokers as soon as the matchmaker leaves in order to bring good luck.
When it comes to modern matchmaking in Russia, it is not orthodox and, thus, devoid of all the ceremonial commitments and old traditions. The future bridegroom himself visits the house of the bride’s parents and asks their permission to marry their daughter. If the parents are happy with this match, the father puts the right hand of the bride into the hand of the groom, and the date of engagement is agreed upon soon after.
When we look back into the old Russian traditions, the engagement or the betrothal ceremony had more importance than the marriage itself. The parents of both the individuals sit down together and sign an agreement, which has the date of the wedding on it. The engagement is celebrated through a reception or a party.
These days, the engagement celebrations have totally changed in Russia. Usually, it is the guy who proposes the girl in a simple yet romantic manner, and if she agrees, they set a date for their marriage. The western tradition of an engagement ring is becoming more and more popular in the Russian environment.
While it is up to the couple to choose the way they want to get married, there are a few things which are involved in all kinds of Russian weddings. The bride and the groom need to take care of their dresses, book a venue, rent the cars, and hire a cameraman or a photographer. They also need to have a tamada, who is the wedding host and the toastmaster. There are a few couples who prefer to get married in a church, and for them, it is important to go and meet the priest beforehand. As per the Russian traditions, planning a wedding takes about 3 to 6 months, but as soon as the couple decides to get married, everything sets in motion and is carried out smoothly.
Initially, the most important decision which needs to be made is regarding the budget for the wedding. For this purpose, the parents of the bride and the groom sit together and decide the amount which they can easily spend on the wedding. If the budget allows, the foremost thing to do should be to hire a wedding planner, who can take care of everything and leave the families stress-free.
Choosing the right place for the event is very important. If you are not hiring a planner and need to do everything yourself, it will be a good idea to look up different options before deciding on a place. Some of the possible options include:
Out of all these, the most popular option is to go for a local restaurant which can easily accommodate at least 20 to 30 people for a private party.
Most of the decisions in a wedding in Russia depend upon the professional host. A Russian wedding cannot be imagined without a toastmaster, who is invited to make the day memorable for everyone present. However, tamada is not just a toastmaster; he or she is the person who guarantees that the party will be a success and everyone will leave for their homes happily. By going for a professional, the couple will be able to ensure that the organization of the party, guests announcements, and small funny games can be improvised.
While talking about modern weddings in Russia, it is the tamada who makes sure that the guests are not bored during the party. Most of the couples invest their focus on finding a good tamada because that will guarantee that their party is entertaining and successful.
Most of the westerners forget that there are more than 150 nationalities currently residing in Russia and the Russian tradition represents all of them. Most of them are not even Slavic thus, they have distinct wedding rituals and customs. However, this doesn’t make them any less Russian and they proudly speak the national language too. Living amongst the Russians, most of these people follow the traditions of Russia, but they do have some distinct customs, which are novel for the Russians themselves.
For example, in the Republic of Mari-EI, the friends, neighbors, and relatives of the groom celebrate the wedding by paying a visit to the bride’s village and singing and dancing for them. The bride’s family reciprocates this gesture and thus, contributes to the festivities.
The wedding celebrations of the Russians may vary because of the different backgrounds of the nationalities. They belong to distinct religions and have unique backgrounds, which gives rise to the differences in traditions.
You will find a large population of Muslims in Russia with two large nationalities being Bashkirs and Tatars. They have a lot in common with each other and follow a custom called the Nikah ceremony. It is very similar to a traditional Christian wedding and also has a priest who is known as the Mullah. This priest gives guidance and advice to the people and blesses the couple. The bride and the groom are not supposed to spend any time in solitude unless they are married off. These nationalities also have a reversed tradition of dowry known as the Kalym in which the groom is supposed to pay the parents of the bride. With the passage of time, this custom is also becoming rare and being followed only by the highly religious Muslims.
On the contrary, there is no dowry tradition in Chukchi, which is a small nationality in the north-eastern Siberia. They are the distant relatives of American Eskimos. A very interesting and unique thing is that the guy is supposed to help with the housework and shepherd at the bride’s father’s house for at least eighteen months. It is the father-in-law who will keep an eye on him and can drive him away due to any reason or for any kind of irresponsibility. Those who are successful in this test are now allowed to woo the girl and marry her off.
Most of such bizarre traditions have died with time and the younger Russian generation has rejected them. The more liberal Russian bridal traditions are now taking their place.
During a wedding, the most popular tradition in Russia has to be the bridal shower, which in Russian is known as devichnik. The bride goes out along with her friends one day before the wedding to spend the last evening of her single life eventfully. In the older traditions, the bride used to take a bath with her friends chanting songs, dancing, and having her hair combed. This was the day when the bride used to cry and say goodbye to all her relatives.
Currently, the Russian bridal shower is still a party of the bride along with her friends but it is supposed to be fun. It is not necessarily a day before the marriage, but it can be any day after the engagement. The festivities and the partying continue until the wedding day.
In the old Russian wedding, this was not just a farewell party for the bride but an event with a series of rituals. Her friends bringing her some lovely gifts symbolizing the life of a single woman and preparing her a “beauty”. The “beauty” could be anything decorated with assortments and then burned or given to the closest friend of the bride. The object could be anything but it was connected with the hair of the bride as they are a personification of the self-will and beauty of the maiden. When it is burned or given away, she symbolically loses her maidenhood.
She is given a bath in the steam room (which becomes a metaphor for the death and rebirth) and, thus, the farewell festivities come to an end. The bride then comes out of the steam room and is to be considered neither dead nor alive. In this very state, she is passed to the groom with continuous resistance from herself and her friends.
The bride and the groom can choose to rent, purchase, or get their dresses stitched. There is a number of accessories, which are carried by the bride including the purse, veil, tiara, and jewelry. On the other hand, the groom needs cufflinks and a tie clip. All such accessories are available at a special bridal salon.
The bridal wedding dress in Russia is white but before the wedding of Catherine II, it used to be red. The white wedding dress symbolizes purity and chastity of the bride, and this color has been adopted from the ancient Greek traditions. When Queen Catherine got married in a white dress, this was the time when the Russians shifted their tradition as the white color stands for joy and prosperity. The bridal veil is another important thing that used to be a thick white shawl which covered the face tightly. No one could actually see the bride, and the violation of this rule would bring bad luck and misfortunes.
During the Russian wedding, the newlyweds used to touch each other only through the veil and did not eat or drink anything during the ceremony. It was thought that the bridal veil is a protection from evil spirits, and only sad wedding songs were played in the background as the bride was about to leave her family.
This tradition of the newlyweds exchanging rings is very similar to the western custom of the same nature. Usually, it is the groom who provides the wedding rings in Russia. The latest trend in rings is that they are made from gold and decorated with any kind of stone. Like many other civilizations of the world including Austria, India, Poland, Greece, and Germany, Russians also wear their wedding ring on the ring finger of the right hand.
Apart from the traditional wedding rings, there are engagement rings. However, this is a relatively new trend. The tradition of presenting a ring to the bride comes from the western culture and has a lot of its traits. When a gentleman proposes to his girl, he needs to do it with a ring and this is something, which the Russians have learned from the western world.
Only a handful of people these days observe the old traditions. The only elements, which are still intact, include the wedding feast, the engagement ceremony, and the wedding itself. Although a number of changes have been made to the festivities.
The demands of the newlyweds are growing with the passage of time and this is primarily because of the increased costs and high awareness due to social media. The price of the services provided by the wedding agencies is also going sky-high. Now, the Russian weddings are celebrated on a large scale, and a number of western traditions have also been adopted. The urban weddings are more modernized as compared to the countryside weddings; however, those who choose to get married around nature have a higher chance of going for a traditional Russian wedding.
The countryside wedding is a very special event because one gets to enjoy the cozy atmosphere and the fresh smell of nature. There are trees and fields around and the smell of the fresh flowers is surely going to put the guests in a light and cheerful mood. While being surrounded by nature, it becomes easier to connect with your emotions and express them. At a distance from the technology, it becomes easier for the guests to interact and express their truest emotions in the most beautiful ways. Usually, such a celebration lasts for at least two days.
The arrangements are made a long time prior to the actual wedding day in order to avoid last minute hassles and difficulties. The event organizer or anyone, who is responsible for taking care of all the tasks, makes sure to arrange for the transport, venue, feast, décor, and other important things which make a wedding possible. Choosing the right photographer and videographer is also essential so that the special moments of the wedding can be captured in a mesmerizing way. Commonly, a tamada is hired, who will take care of the management aspects of the weddings like raising toasts and entertaining the guests. Some fun contests can also be held for all the attendees to increase their engagement level.
The family and friends of the bride help her in getting ready and professionals are hired to take care of her makeup and hair. The bride is supposed to get ready on time so that she can arrive at least an hour and a half prior to the actual wedding ceremony.
This is the time when actually a funny Russian wedding tradition is carried out where the bride’s parents try to steal her from the groom. If he wants to be with the love of his life, he needs to pay a ransom. This can be anything from jewelry to actual cash. All this is done to create a comical element in the ceremony and there is no seriousness involved.
After this activity ends, the couple along with their parents go to the ZAGS office and register their marriage officially.
There is a number of traditions which are followed in a Russian wedding, but the relationship is only legalized after the couple pays a visit to the ZAGS registration office. ZAGS stands for Zapis’ Aktov Grazhdanskogo Sostoyaniya.
It is up to the couple whether they want to have a simple civil marriage ceremony, where they just need to sign the papers and can directly head to the party. They can even choose the longer traditional ceremony, where all the festivities take place along with the legal procedure at the ZAGS office.
The officials at the ZAGS check all the documents of the couple, and this is an important reason for them to have all the copies and translations of the required papers in hand. After checking the papers, they will set an appointment for the exchange of the vows.
Approximately 32 days are required from the date of registration to make all the arrangements. However, there is an exception for certain circumstances, where the arrangements can be made in a shorter period of time. The time period of 32 days is required to give the people a chance to think with a cool mind.
Starting in October 2018, the couples will be allowed to choose any date or day for their wedding.
This is a very different tradition, which is unique to the Russians and known as “crowning of the people”. These crowns are the symbol of the glory and the warmth bestowed upon the Russian people during their marriage. The symbolism of this tradition is to pronounce the bride and the groom the queen and king of their home which they are going to rule with wisdom, love, and self-sacrifice.
It can be called the emotional climax of the entire Russian bridal ceremony where the priest places garland on their heads. Finally, the ladies from the wedding party step out and sprinkle seeds on the couple to bestow them with prosperity and to end the ceremony.
In most of the Russian regions, the wedding lasts for two days. The bride wears a new dress the next day that is neither white nor very formal. The party starts a bit late with the guests playing more games and donating more money to the newlyweds.
The special cutlery and the plates may also be sold to the guests and they may be required to pay to get a meal. These festivities usually occur at home or any other place as per the current weather conditions. In Russia, summer weddings are especially popular. They tend to avoid the month of “May” as in Russian it sounds similar to “having problems”. It is believed that if a couple chooses to get married during this month, they might face a lot of hurdles in their marital life.
There is a number of games, which are played during the second day, and most of them involve dressing a baby doll or putting a nappy on it. The atmosphere is very peaceful and full of joy and laughter because of the festivities. The worst thing that can happen is a boring wedding so it is up to the witnesses to make sure that such activities are carried out well to keep the interest of the guests intact. It is a hard job to keep the guests entertained, but it needs to be done at all costs.
Usually, the wedding takes place on a Friday and lasts until Saturday. On Sunday, the guests feel like they are rising from the dead as it is quite common to drink heavily during the Russian party. It is impolite if someone refuses to drink or doesn’t participate in feasting with the guests. It is often said that one doesn’t need to drink or eat 3 days prior to the wedding and 3 days after because there’s so much to eat and drink on the wedding day.
The international couples choose to host two weddings — one in the traditional Russian style and the second one as per the western rituals. If they don’t want to miss any of the fun, they mustn’t miss the traditional Russian bridal wedding.
Since the 19th century, it is very common for the newlyweds to travel immediately after the wedding. It is unknown which country started this tradition but it has now been adopted in almost all parts of the world. Russians also call this trip “honeymoon”, and it got this name through a very strange story.
In old Russia, a low-alcoholic drink was formed with honey, and it was supposed to be drunk by the couple as well as the guests for the next 30 days. It was customary to give the couple a barrel containing almost 5 to 10 kg of honey. They were supposed to empty it within a month as it was believed that this will make their marriage stronger.
Honeymoon provides a chance for the couple to spend some necessary time together after the Russian traditional wedding. They will get to know each other and get a taste of how it is like being married. They will get to know how it is like living as a family and can draw closer to each other during this time when they are not distracted by responsibilities.
After the end of the formal ceremony, the couple along with their close friends and family members drive to a countryside. This is done to get a charming photo shoot done. They will share a few glasses of champagne and visit some of the most breathtaking sights in the city. In Moscow, these sights include the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, Victory Park, and Red Square. If you happen to visit this place, then don’t be surprised to find some of the Russian brides posing to get their photos done.