Nowadays, millions of people around the world are members of online dating sites including the ones that specialize in helping men and women find love internationally. It’s a wonderful way for men and women whose paths might not normally cross to meet each other and build long-term and loving relationships. Unfortunately, because most communication is initially done through emails and messaging, it’s also a way where the risk of people misunderstanding or accidentally offending each other is higher than in cases of face-to-face dating.
This is especially true when it comes to international dating because you must deal with cultural and language barriers while you’re getting to know each other. What might be perfectly acceptable for a man from Western Europe or the US to say to a woman from his own country on a first date, for example, won’t be appropriate for him to say to a woman he’s interested in from Eastern Europe — be that Russia, Moldova or Ukraine.
It’s important, therefore, to make sure you understand just what is and what isn’t OK to say to a potential girlfriend when you first start talking to her online. Below, we go through the topics that you might want to avoid until you both know each other a little better or get the chance to meet face-to-face.
Past Relationships
The last thing you probably want to hear about when your Russian women dating begins, is your date ex-boyfriends and the same is true for her. Russian women don’t want to hear about your past relationships, especially where they were messy as she’ll wonder what emotional baggage you’re bringing to your relationship with her.
Work Worries
Everyone has a bad day at work sometimes, and it’s perfectly reasonable for you to want to talk to people about that. In the early days of a relationship, though, it’s a good idea to stay away from complaining about work. Russian women like men who are strong and in control. Complaining about work will send them a message that you can’t manage the stress of your job or come up with solutions to solve the problems you’re facing, neither of which they’ll find attractive. It’s one thing to say you’ve had a rough day, another is to dissect it and pick over everything that went wrong.
Finances
Russian women want to be in relationships with men who have good jobs and are financially secure. They don’t want to be with a man who they feel is bragging about the money he earns as they’ll start to wonder what he’s trying to make up for or think that he lacks confidence in who he is as a person and so is trying to impress them. It’s fine to talk about the work you do and your career, but leave money talk until you are more serious.
Health Issues
When you first start talking to a potential girlfriend, you should keep conversations light and friendly. Talking about health issues, yours or those of family members, is anything but light and friendly and should be kept for another time.
Sex
Before you are acquainted well, sharing or talking sex experience might close all doors to the perspective of Relationships.
A good relationship is one that is not just mentally stimulating, but physically satisfying, and Russian ladies understand that. However, this doesn’t mean they want to talk about sex during their first few dates or are willing to share information about their personal preferences when it comes to the physical side of relationships.
This is sometimes hard for men on FindBride.com to understand because there are so many beautiful women on the site and many of these are posed proactively, but it’s one of the contradictions you will find with Russian women. They are generally raised in traditional households, where sex is not a subject of conversation, and many, especially those over 40, will be uncomfortable discussing the intimate details of their lives. Women might also take talk of sex the wrong way and think you only want to date them for this, rather than their personalities, which will put them off talking to you long-term.
Scams
Scam is another topic that could be taken the wrong way. With so many online dating sites out there and so many people registered on them, no matter what precautions a dating agency takes, they can’t always avoid scammers finding their way onto their sites. However, it’s important to remember that most women are legitimate and are looking for serious relationships that could lead to marriage.
If you start talking to your date about scams, she might think you are accusing her of being a scammer and feel that she must justify why she is on the site. This isn’t the way you want to start a relationship, which really needs to be built on trust. Many Western men will be tempted to say something like this as a joke — avoid the temptation, as it is more likely to be misunderstood and could kill off a relationship before it’s even begun.
Politics
Politics is one of those subjects that can easily lead to arguments because people feel so passionate about it. There has been a lot about Russia and its relationships with Western countries in the media in recent months, and it might be tempting to try to talk about it, but it’s not advisable to do so during your first few dates. Stay away from topics such as foreign policy, the Crimea, and hackers’ involvement in foreign elections. Even if your date is critical of these things and her government, she is likely to defend them if she feels a man who doesn’t know her or her country well is attacking them. If you are a history buff, you might also want to steer clear of discussions of World War II as well as Russians are understandably proud of their involvement in the war, which is often underplayed in Western history.
Religion
Religion is important to many people, and it will be important to how your relationship develops long-term so it’s fine to say if you are religious and what that religion is. In fact, it’s probably a good idea to mention it in your profile; your girlfriend may have mentioned her religion too as many Russian women are Orthodox Christians. If she hasn’t, however, wait till you have gotten to know each other better before asking because Russian girls consider their religion to be a personal choice, and not all of them are open to discussing it. Others might feel pressured if the conversation takes too much of a religious turn and be put off talking to you further.
Smiling
Russian women don’t necessarily smile as much as women from Western Europe and the US. This is a cultural difference, and it doesn’t mean they aren’t happy. In Russia, there is a saying that smiling too much means you are a moron, which something no one wants to be accused of. Be aware of this if you talk to your girlfriend through video chat and don’t pick her up on it. She is being herself and you shouldn’t worry if she isn’t grinning from ear to ear the whole conversation, especially if you are talking about some serious subjects.
Alcohol Issues
There is a common misconception that all Russians drink a lot and that many people in Russia are alcoholics. This isn’t the case. Alcohol abuse did use to be a problem for Russians, but it isn’t anymore and, in fact, lots of young Russians drink less than their Western counterparts and plenty of Russian women don’t drink at all. By asking them if they don’t drink because they are alcoholics is offensive and should be avoided.
Poor Family Relationships
Family is important to Russian women and they are looking to meet men who want to build a family with them, ideally with children. If they are planning on moving to another country to be with you, they also want to know that your family will welcome them and become their family too. The larger the family the better as far as Russian girls are concerned. Unfortunately, not everyone has positive relationships with their families and, while your girlfriend will understand this, she may be put off if it’s brought up early in the relationship, thinking maybe the fault is with you even if it isn’t. So, if you don’t get on with your mom or dad, brothers or sisters, or grandparents, don’t bring this up until you know each other better and you can explain the situation to her properly.
All of these subjects, of course, are ones you can talk about once you both get to know each other better and will lead — no doubt — to lively debates and conversations. It is better, though, to keep them on the back burner until the relationship has developed and you can understand each other properly.