How to understand that there is a toxic person nearby
You wake up in the morning and finally realize that you are stuck in a troubled relationship. You are hurt and confused.

You can be hurt by a parent, a brother or colleague, a friend, a spouse, or even a lover. It doesn't matter if they are manipulating you, intimidating you, or trying to blame you for their problems. You don't know how to behave in this situation.

A few examples of such relationships:

❌Your friend is constantly sarcastic, and recently her barbs have become very cruel.
❌Your colleague not only rejects all your suggestions and ideas, but also actively belittles you in front of those who listen to you.
❌Your spouse says cruel things to you, and responds to objections that you are too sensitive, or refuses to talk about it at all.
❌Parents underestimate your achievements, no matter what you do.

Not everyone stays in this relationship. At least for a long time. Some people immediately identify toxic people and know how to deal with them. Often they are self-confident people who strive for a trusting relationship and do not allow themselves to be offended.

The opposite situation is true for people with low self-esteem who prefer a dependent position. They don't know what a healthy relationship looks like, and are more likely to be involved with a toxic person.

How to behave

1. Recognize the traits that make you easy prey
This does not mean that you should take responsibility or blame yourself for the fact that someone is doing something wrong to you. Calmly think about communicating with this person. Focus on why you felt something, not on what exactly you felt. So you can see the pattern by which unpleasant communication occurs for you. For example, the insecure daughters of overbearing mothers may confuse someone else's desire for control with strength and tenacity and be influenced by someone toxic.

2. Think about your reaction
Evaluate your reaction to unpleasant communication. The person who insults you may take a sluggish reaction to his behavior for permission and continue to behave in the same way. With your reaction, you can increase or decrease the aggression directed at you.

3. Stop making excuses
One of the reasons people stay in relationships that are harmful to them is a lack of self-belief. If you justify toxic behavior ("He didn't mean it, he didn't mean it") or write it off as ignorance, misunderstanding ("She didn't realize she was being rude"), then it's time to stop and understand why you're doing it. If you notice that you are behaving in this way, stop.

4. Do not be afraid of irretrievable losses
If you often think about how much you have invested and sacrificed for a toxic person, think about what your life will be like in a year or five years if you end this relationship. If the connection is not broken, then the following years will be just another sacrifice, brought by you to a person who will not appreciate it.

5. Learn to anticipate retribution
A toxic person likes to control you. He likes to feel his strength. So don't expect him to just walk out of your life.

When you begin to resist, most likely, he will try even harder to manipulate you, to gossip, to gain power over you again. This happens especially often in a relationship with a narcissist, who needs to win in the eyes of society at any cost.

Don't make abusive behavior the norm!
It is especially important not to turn insults into the norm if you have lived in a harmful relationship for a long time or grew up in a family where you were humiliated. Toxic people explain their behavior by saying that their statements against you are just words. They deny their guilt, shifting it to others.

Refusing to answer a question or ignoring it is also an offensive behavior, a silent variation of it. Any humiliation, including emotional or verbal, is bad.