Does recognition always come from outside?
Since childhood, whether at school or at home, you have received recognition from the outside. For example, you received grades from teachers, and if you wanted something, you needed the approval of your parents.

We have learned to get what we want by satisfying the expectations of other people. Maybe you wanted to get a higher grade in drawing and were more attentive in these lessons than others in order to impress your teacher. As a result, the teacher will appreciate this and, most likely, will give you a higher rating.

Liking someone becomes important for achieving your desires!

We begin to pay increased attention to how others see us. People are showing interest in you. It's good. In turn, you start doing even more things that attract more attention to you. Everything will be fine as long as you don't do something that they don't like and don't hear criticism. When this happens, you lose the sense of acceptance from others.

But in fact, this is just a perception. Humans as a species are selfish. We all look only at ourselves. Even those who are liked by others are actually focused on feeling good. It's like an optical illusion of your ego.

❌The desire to be liked is an endless pursuit
The desire to please others in order to feel better will tire you, because you will never be able to meet the expectations of others.

❌The ideal image will always change
Once it was considered normal if a man or woman has a little extra weight. Then the ideal changed — everyone tried to be very slim. But this is already changing rapidly.

❌People's expectations about you may be wrong
Most people place their expectations on others based on what is right in social norms.
Remember this every day, from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed: you filter what you think is true. If someone gives you a compliment, you take it and add it to the idea of which version of you is the best. When someone criticizes you, even destructively, you can accept it completely or add it to the list of things that you are not sure about.

❌The desires of others do not coincide with yours
If you live your life only in an effort to please other people, you will never be happy. You will always rely on others to feel that you need to live. This leads to complete confusion when it comes to your personal goals; when there is no external recognition, you do not know what to live for.

❌Do you think that without the approval of others you will not be able to live
You consider the approval of others as fuel and think of yourself as a car. When that fuel runs out, you can't function. But this is an unhealthy way of thinking.

In fact, we can create our own fuel. You can feel good depending on how much you love yourself. When you do something to please yourself more, you can start to see big changes in your opinion. For example, if a compliment from others made you feel good and accepted, look in the mirror and compliment yourself. Say what you want others to say about you.

Internal approval takes practice, but it's worth it. You have to re-train your mind. We need our own triggers to strengthen the habit of internal approval.