In recent decades, a lot has been written on the topic of work-life balance. Many practical tips are given: how much time should work take, and how much-family, communication with friends and hobbies. It is important that everyone certainly has a stable job and a personal life that is understandable to others. And then-according to the list: cultural trips, holidays in Europe, weekends in the country, etc.
This "gentleman's set" is socially approved standards, focusing on which, in theory, we should realize ourselves in all guises. Otherwise, there will be gaps in the picture of life that there will be nothing to fill, or the canvas will turn out to be one color-dull and boring.
In recent decades, a lot has been written on the topic of work-life balance. Many practical tips are given: how much time should work take, and how much-family, communication with friends and hobbies. It is important that everyone certainly has a stable job and a personal life that is understandable to others. And then-according to the list: cultural trips, holidays in Europe, weekends in the country, etc.
This "gentleman's set" is socially approved standards, focusing on which, in theory, we should realize ourselves in all guises. Otherwise, there will be gaps in the picture of life that there will be nothing to fill, or the canvas will turn out to be one color-dull and boring.
It seems strange to us that someone can be happy without having what is" necessary " for happiness. And we ourselves begin to complex if something is missing in our picture. In addition, our relatives, taking care of our well-being, constantly set an example of someone from relatives or friends who managed to balance business and personal life.
But if we look around, we will find that there are a lot of happy people who do not fit into these calculated formulas of work-life balance to the smallest detail — they have their own schemes, absolutely asymmetric.
There are people for whom happiness is in work, in a business that they really love. This is the area where so much personal is concentrated for them that everything else only weighs them down. Their "gentleman's set" from the outside looks meager: work, work and work again. No hobbies, and family life, as a rule, hangs by a thread — at least it seems so to others.
Another category is those for whom the main thing is family. The personal fascinates them so much that they are no longer interested in anything else: "I have children, parents, friends… I don't think about work at all, I have enough to do as it is!"
It turns out that some people not only do not get tired of "standing on one leg", but also feel quite happy at the same time. But among those who follow the standards of work-life balance, there are many who do not feel either happiness or harmony.
Many people really try to honestly maintain a balance and formally have everything they need for happiness. They pretend that life suits them perfectly, but at the same time they feel only chronic dissatisfaction and fatigue.
One would like to sit at work late at night — so I want to finally give myself up to my favorite business. But you can't — the family is waiting for dinner, it's a tradition! And here he is, poor, trudging home to "be happy". And the other, on the contrary, would gladly devote herself to the family. But no: every morning, after dropping the children off at kindergarten and school, she rushes to the office, on Saturdays-to fitness, because you need to keep yourself in good shape, and on Sundays-to the museum, to the theater, to friends or parents, because she is a good friend and daughter… I just want to say: "Clever, a real modern woman!", but in fact — a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Before you worry about the fact that we are missing something, you should understand yourself.
First, we need to understand whether we are happy with the way we live. For example, everyone praises me: "Well done, he lives a full life", and I feel like an excellent student who envies the C-students: yes, they do not receive diplomas for excellent studies, but they live freely and cheerfully. Or vice versa, my relatives persuade me to "fix" my life, and I agree: I start looking for another job, although I actually like mine, and instead of changing the situation in the old place, I spend my energy searching for a new one.
Secondly, it is worth deciding what work-life balance is for us. After all, the balance between business and personal life is not just the distribution of time between them. This is our internal balance, which cannot be expressed as a percentage. He is flexible and mobile: today we are passionate about work, tomorrow our attention switches to family, the day after tomorrow-to friends, etc. At different stages of life, our priorities change.
And, finally, thirdly, we must clearly understand what exactly needs to be done if we really want to change something in our life, and what price we will have to pay for it.
We are used to the fact that personal life is a relationship with the opposite sex: love, family, sex, etc. In fact, the "personal" life is the life of our PERSONALITY, it is everything that causes us emotions, feelings, the movement of the soul. And for some, the source of emotions is family, for others-their "business", for others – creativity, for others – travel.
The balance between business and personal life is actually a balance between our diet and our emotions. People who are completely immersed in work feel quite harmonious, because they love it, in the process of work they not only receive money, but enter into certain relationships, experience emotions, give their emotions to others. And, on the contrary, it seems that a person is busy only with his family, but there are so many goals, tasks, plans in all this that it compensates for the lack of formal work.
Often, personal life and work are perceived as competitors, antagonists who need to be reconciled. But if we really live the life that we like, there can be no competition in principle. On the contrary, our emotions and rationality support each other and thus only increase our efficiency.
Therefore, if we do not fit into socially approved standards, but we feel quite happy, we just need to say to ourselves: "Everything suits me, this is my choice" – and defend our right to live as we consider the best and right for ourselves.