For a long time I have lived in attempts to earn, win back love / friendship / sympathy / praise, etc. at the world.

And as it seemed then, it all cost me nothing ..

And in fact, I:

I was not myself.
Lived someone else's life, trying to be good for everyone.
She suppressed herself and her real desires and needs.
She played other people's roles, losing herself.
I was giving away my resource (which, it turns out, is limited) to nowhere.

What is the bottom line? Emptiness and burnout.
The feeling of being needed did not appear.

And at some point, it occurred to me that .. even if the whole world idolizes me, it will not bring me happiness. And I will not become more necessary from this.

For a minute, I totally agree that it's nice and cool when there is a healthy and comfortable exchange in any relationship ... BUT!

The main NECESSITY that one wants to feel: it is the need for oneself.