Relationships at a distance - an invention of a young maximalist consciousness or the worst nightmare of any lover? “Distance” is a relative concept: it can be another city, another country, or even another continent. But the question that hundreds of couples who have agreed to a long-distance relationship ask themselves is always the same: how not to go crazy with the grief of separation, if it takes weeks or even months to wait for the next meeting with your loved one?

Draw boundaries.

Decide where your relationship will float after parting, you still need to "on the shore." Relationships at a distance will require more moral resources from you than the type of relationship we are used to, so it's best to save yourself from unnecessary hassle and senseless suffering in advance. There is nothing shameful in the fact that you do not plan to move in, buy a small cozy forest house and give birth to children. If at the moment it is enough for you to meet once or twice in a couple of months, drive to the sea together and have fun with each other, pourquoi pas? It's just that you need to decide what you still expect from these relations, set priorities and outline the boundaries, you need to as early as possible.

"Call me, call"

Online communication is your lifeline. When I am asked how my boyfriend and I manage to create such a warm and sincere relationship, although we see each other once every 2-3 months, I always answer: "We are just talking."

The opportunity to talk with your partner on any topic, discuss plans for the future and just share your life is a must number one for any relationship. But when it comes to long distance, then talking on Skype or WhatsApp also compensate for the lack of bodily communication (kisses, touches, hugs). Being open and open to dialogue will help you take your relationship to a whole new level. The ability to share your problems, fears, anxieties, express your dissatisfaction or concern are incredibly important skills for any relationship in general, but especially for long-distance relationships.

The trust.

“Jealousy is a monster, both conceiving and giving birth to itself,” Shakespeare said. And the writer knew about love no less than modern Romeo and Juliet suffering from separation. Going crazy with jealousy when you don't know where and with whom your partner may actually be right now is not the best prospect.

The feeling of jealousy that constantly haunts you, the fear of being deceived, the non-stop desire to control the life of your partner - this is a good reason for working through the moments that excite you with a specialist. Well, if your partner now and then deliberately throws you reasons for jealousy, it may be worth asking a question about the seriousness of his intentions and your relationship.

Trust should become an axiom of your relationship. For treason, you do not need any other city, or even another area of ​​your city, and the feeling that the distance gives more reasons for jealousy is absolutely false. If you are not ready to trust your partner, ask yourself the question: are you ready, in principle, to build a relationship with him?

Learn to live for yourself.

The phrase “I really live only with you” sounds very romantic only at first glance. In fact, it hides a type of relationship that American psychologists would describe as an "unhealthy relationship." Undoubtedly, rare meetings with your loved one allow you to experience hundreds of positive emotions threefold, but it is important to remember that in between these infrequent (alas!) Dates, life goes on.

A breakup can be a great stimulus to start doing something new. At the very least, to kill the time you could spend crying and endless self-pity. Maybe you've wanted to join the gym for a long time? Or maybe a dozen or so unread books were lying around in a bookcase? Think about the opportunity to spend free time with friends or even master the art of going to the movies alone (sometimes it's even easier to catch Zen like that than during meditation!).

Learn to enjoy life around you alone and take the time to explore yourself and learn new things. So the time until the next meeting with your soul mate will fly by much faster.

Create a sense of presence.

To avoid reminding yourself and your partner that you are miles apart, try to make your online communication as virtual as possible. For example, if you regularly celebrate some important date together, why not pour yourself some wine and clink glasses right through your computer monitor? Don't give up your usual rituals and traditions just because you can't be around right now.

And for your calls, it is not at all necessary to choose a secluded room and direct a marafet. You can talk and cook dinner, talk while getting ready for a meeting, walking down the street, or even sitting in the bathroom. And the message "Good morning" on the smartphone screen will help relieve sadness from lonely morning awakenings.

Our couple has a rather funny tradition, or rather a habit. When I can't sleep or just feel that I missed my beloved voice terribly, I call my boyfriend and ask him to tell me a story. This incredibly calms and at the same time brings us closer together, creates an atmosphere of warmth, comfort and homeliness around.

Don't forget about intimacy.

The lack of intimacy during a long distance relationship is one of the most difficult tests for lovers. Until you have the opportunity to express your feelings with touch, hugs and kisses, you can develop the ability to talk and write about sex and your sexual fantasies, express your desires and discuss with your partner various sexual practices that you would like to try the next time you meet.

For those who have never experienced a long-distance relationship, sexting may seem vulgar, perverted, and filthy entertainment, but in fact, it is a great way to maintain the emotional and intimate life of your relationship at the proper level during the separation period.

Regular meetings.

No matter how cozy and warm your Skype-evenings are and no matter how intense events your daily routine is filled with, all the same, the most joyful and pleasant moment of your personal life will remain meetings after a long separation.

And the best way to brighten up the anticipation of the next rendez-vous can be the confidence that this meeting will take place after all. Sometimes she will have to wait a month, two or three, but a precisely appointed date on a subconscious level will help make the waiting process less painful and stressful.

We have a choice of tickets and counting the day when we will see each other turns into a small tradition: when we meet, we look at the tickets for the flight together, plan the next “date” and even immediately think about what films we will watch and what delicious food can be prepared for breakfast. It really makes the separation a little less emotional, and the time without each other is not so painful.