This is what keeps a person in the problem state that he received.

In psychology, there is a concept of secondary benefit. Outwardly, a person may want something very much, constantly talk about it, but do nothing.

For example, a person may say that he wants to change jobs, that the real job does not suit him, but at the same time he does not even try to find something else.

Or he may suffer from some kind of dissatisfying relationship, from some kind of annoying illness, etc., but the matter will not go beyond words. So it is with "I want to lose weight."

What benefit does an addicted and weak person, or a sick person, or a fat person get?

First, it is, of course, shifting responsibility for your life onto others and circumstances, this is compassion, getting care, attention, etc.

Remember, when you are sick, how much attention and care do you get? Do you get that much when you are healthy? It's so cool - to lie down when everyone around you is running around, and they feed, and give you something to drink, and any of your wishes will be fulfilled! And the main thing is that you now have every right to do so. When you are healthy, you have to do everything yourself. Then what is the point of becoming healthy?

And, often, it is the secondary benefit that leaves us where we are.

Do you know the secondary benefits of your problems, have you already thought about this?