Reason # 1. Get married / have a serious relationship only for the right reasons.
Many of those who have already divorced and remarried explain that first marriages ended in divorce because they were contracted for the wrong reasons. They can be very different: pressure from family and friends; feeling like it's time for you to settle down; the desire to be a beautiful couple because you look good together; a naive thought, as if with a sweetheart paradise and in a hut ... All this seems logical. But it only seems, because there can be only one reason for marriage: you should just want to be close to this person - that's what people with experience say.

The only thing that really works is sincere admiration for each other. But, as often happens, getting married in order for someone to make you happy is straightforward to codependency. And this has never made anyone feel good.

Reason # 2. Don't have false hopes.
Often, lovers, when they get married, think that they will always keep the acuteness of feelings, and when the intensity of emotions dies down, they think that the family is falling apart. Love is a strange thing. When our head is spinning, we are ready to forgive our partner for any mistakes and close our eyes to shortcomings. But this will not last forever, maximum - several years. And then the puppy delight with which we look into the eyes of a loved one disappears. And as soon as the thrill of love passes, you do not need to think that the love has passed and you are on the verge of divorce. You just need to learn to love a person for who he is, respect him and rejoice in the fact that he is around.

True love is a choice: to be with a person, despite the circumstances, despite the fact that he does not always make you happy. It is difficult, but it is also valuable.

Reason # 3. Respect is the most important thing in a relationship.
People who have been married for 10-15 years most often say that the most important thing for a strong relationship is to communicate with each other and talk frankly about everything that worries. However, those who have behind them 20, 30, 40 years of marriage, argue that the most important thing is respect for each other.


The fact is that conflicts in couples are inevitable, and we hurt each other's feelings, no matter how much we want to avoid it. And the only thing that will help you stay together is mutual respect, the feeling that you value each other above all else, trust each other and trust that your partner will do what is best for both of you. Just don't forget that you also need to respect yourself. And you and the other half.

Reason # 4. Be honest about everything
And yet you need to talk, especially about what hurts you. If something does not suit you in a relationship, it must be said about it: when we speak frankly, it creates a feeling of trust, thanks to which intimacy is born. It can be painful, but you still need to do it, because no one will mend your relationship except you.

Trust is also needed in order to cope with such an unpleasant feeling as jealousy. We all need to understand that a partner may have other interests, he can communicate with other people, and we should not get angry seeing that he is talking to someone else.

Reason # 5. Healthy people have healthy relationships.
In any marriage, you have to sacrifice something for the sake of another person. But the problem is that if a relationship is maintained only because someone abandons their interests for the sake of another, sooner or later it will end in a breakup. The sacrifice-based relationship is doomed.

Healthy, happy relationships can only be maintained by healthy, happy individuals. The key word is "personalities." This means that people should have their own ideas about themselves, personal interests, their own hobbies, which they devote time to.

Reason # 6. Leave free space for each other
One of the most important things in a relationship is not to blend in completely. The secret to success is different bank accounts, different credit cards, different friends and hobbies. Even vacations can be taken separately. Some of those who gave advice to newlyweds even suggest using separate bathrooms and toilets, but this is difficult to do in Russia.


It sounds strange - indeed, many are afraid to let go of their partner and give him freedom. And all because people lack trust - they are not confident in themselves and their relationships. It often seems to us that if we let a loved one go somewhere on their own, it will turn out that he no longer needs us. Unfortunately, not being able to let go of your partner means we don't respect them. This means that we do not respect ourselves. After all, is it really possible to seriously think that a wife or husband will be taken away from us at a corporate party?

Reason # 7. Be Prepared to Change
When people have been married for over 20 years, they may discover how much they have changed from what they were two decades ago. Be prepared for the fact that in 20 years you will wake up and find that the person who lies next to you is not at all the same as before she, and then you will need to learn to love him.


Of course, this will happen if you let your other half be yourself, go about your business and develop in your own direction - and you yourself will do it too. But when you change, do not forget to discuss what is happening to you - then you will be able to respect and accept each other.

Reason # 8. Learn to quarrel properly.
We already know that quarrels in a couple are inevitable, but you need to sort things out correctly. There are a few rules that must not be broken. First of all, one cannot criticize the personal qualities of a partner: no "you are stupid / dumb" - only "you are doing stupid things." You should not take a defensive position in the conflict like "I would not have done / did this if you had not ...". It is forbidden to impose feelings of guilt on a partner. And, of course, you cannot refuse if a loved one wants to speak out: running away from a quarrel with the words “that's it, I'm not going to discuss this” is the right way to break off relations.

Reason # 9. Master the Art of Forgiving
It's hard to believe, but even in the strongest families there are insoluble contradictions. There are problems about which we will never agree with each other, and the only way out in this case is to come to terms with it. And this is also a matter of respect for each other.

The fact is that if we allow each other to remain ourselves, then we will inevitably have different positions on some issues. Political views, for example: yes, there are couples who broke up because of different views on Russia's position on Crimea or Syria, but, in all honesty, is it possible to get divorced because the person you love votes for or against Putin? You cannot impose your opinion on another person, and if you try to do this, then you do not respect him.

Reason # 10. Allow yourself small pleasures
Going to the movies together, having lunch together during working hours, going out on weekends are seemingly little things, but they are what make you a family. If you devote all your time only to the joint arrangement of everyday life, on weekends to go shopping in hypermarkets, and discuss bills and bills at dinner, sooner or later you will turn from spouses into neighbors.

Pay attention to the little things: holding hands in the movies, saying “I love you” to each other before bed, remembering to close the tube of toothpaste or throwing things around if this annoys your partner - all this will help you once again emphasize what you value and respect him.