Love is one of the most important emotions, but it is misunderstood. People strive to be connected with each other. The fear of loneliness is perceived as rejection, as a painful threat to life. In fact, love is not necessarily a permanent and unchanging state. Thanks to literature and romantics, love is exalted to the heavens. But if you look at love through the prism of science, then everything will be a little different.

I offer you 10 scientific facts that will help you understand what love really is.

1. Love is different from passion, or lust. Physical attraction is an important part of love, but emotional love is different from lust. During the studies, when the brain was scanned in real time, it turned out that lust activates the areas of the brain responsible for motivation. While in a person who feels love, the areas of the brain associated with caring and empathy are activated.

2.Love can be both long-term and short-term. The traditional idea of love is when two hearts beat in the same rhythm. But, love can be expressed in different ways. Studies have shown that during falling in love, people tend to repeat each other's gestures. They may even have similar physiological rhythms. But, at the same time, love can also be a long-term emotional state, during which we care about each other's well-being, we feel excitement for each other. We experience empathy, we strive to help alleviate the suffering of another.

3. Building strong relationships takes work. A meta-analysis of the best long-term relationships has revealed some common behaviors that manifest themselves in long-term relationships in love. These are such models of how to treat each other positively. Support each other, help, share experiences, which allows you to learn from each other, and expand your views on life.

4. We can increase our ability to love. The study of mindfulness shows that regular practice of love can develop our brain, and we become more sensitive and tender to another. Monks who regularly practice meditation have a different rhythm of alpha brain waves than an ordinary person. Meditation increases the activity of brain centers associated with empathy, positive emotions. It reduces the activity of the fear centers, and makes our brain more interconnected. That is, we become capable of a deeper attachment to another person.

5. It's not just in the head. Most studies show that life expectancy increases if a person lives in a loving family, together with a loved one. Physical health is preserved longer. And loneliness shortens life expectancy, just like smoking. The presence of a loved one nearby has a positive effect on physical and emotional health in general.

6. We can control the ability to love. When we consciously focus on feelings and actions in relation to a loved one, we begin, as it were, a positive mutual spiral of happiness exchange. After all, we really want to be thought of well, especially by those people who care about us and appreciate us. Therefore, we strive to express our gratitude to them. Studies show that the expression of gratitude with words and actions creates positive emotions, both in the giver, the thankee, and the recipient.

7. Love is a paradoxical resource. The more we give, the more we get. Loving one person does not mean that we will love others less. In fact, love is an ability that can be developed through emotional activity and caring actions. When we concentrate on our feelings for one person, enjoy them, then there is a desire to love the whole world, and other people too.

8. Not everyone can love. One of the conditions of love is a sense of security and trust. Our prefrontal cortex sends a signal and disables our reaction to escape when a threat appears-hit or run. There are people who have suffered childhood trauma, neglect, abuse and other experiences. If their attachment to another person ended badly, then it is more difficult for them to disconnect, and feel safe to love. In such cases, a psychologist will help, or a meeting with a person who will be able to show his reliability for a long time.

9. Love is contagious. When people look at happy couples, at the expression of care, compassion, empathy, they themselves are inspired by this feeling. They have a desire to love and be loved. People read books about love and dream of it being like in the movies.

10. Love is not necessarily eternal, but it is there! Yes, of course, there is a long, real and only love. This is possible. In fact, even some scientists question the idea of a fixed, unchanging self. As a rule, we are not the same people today as we were 10 years ago. Life experience changes our biology, patterns of thinking, and relationships, too. The need of one person is changing, and it may happen that both partners will grow in different directions. And then the love will end. And yet it is there!