Not every man's first marriage develops, as in a fairy tale - "and they lived to the gray hair." Unfortunately, it also happens that a family boat is wrecked, and children are left between "two fires". They have the hardest time. And also the second wife, who (whether she wants it or not) needs not only to communicate with them on the “hello-bye” level, but also to find a common language. What to do if you have chosen a man who already has children, how not to make fatal mistakes? What if the kids don't accept you? Let's try to understand this difficult situation. In most cases, children still stay with their mother, but what if the children live with their father and stubbornly refuse to accept you? The most important thing is to understand that the child feels like a lost kitten in the new family, regardless of whether he visits his father on weekends , once a month or moved permanently.

Try to look at the situation through his eyes before "nagging" your spouse, taking offense or making scandals.

Your first priority is to gain the authority of your child, how can you do it?

Do not dismiss the child if he himself goes into your hands (looking for contact). He should not feel like a hindrance to your relationship with his father, the cause of your irritation and the "root of evil." Be open to communication with him. The child also has the right to be jealous, because you came after him. Show your child that you are not at all claiming to have all of your husband's free time. Help your husband and his child in organizing joint walks and gradually join their company. Positive emotions always bring people together, so don't overdo it when playing the role of a good stepmother. You do not need to lisp with the child, put on a smile, overwhelm him with gifts and convince him that you are delighted with him. Children always feel false. Proceed gently and gradually. Step, another, third. Over time, you will get used to each other. Do not put your children and your husband higher than his children from the 1st marriage. Everyone should be treated equally, even if everyone inside you is protesting against this state of affairs. Remember that children are always children. Even if they are not yours, but your husband's.

But you have a chance to establish such a strong and good relationship with them that happiness in your home will double - and will settle forever. Be patient and wise, and if you sincerely love your man, it will not be so difficult for you to fall in love with his children, after all, there are no other people's children, and you can achieve a lot with love and affection! Be happy ! Be wise!