Why is this happening?
This is usually the result of a decision made in childhood. When you couldn't get what you wanted over and over again. Or you have been judged, rejected, or punished for your desires. Another option is overprotective and anxious parents who knew for you what you needed and acted aggressively.

Why change something?
To feel alive. To have fun. To get high from what you are doing. In general, desires are one of the main types of fuel on this planet. Convinced?

Let's say he convinced me. What to do?
I have two pieces of news for you – good and bad.

The bad news is that you have been training to ignore your desires for 20, 30, and some for all 40 years (serious experience!). In order to change this habit, you need to constantly return to practice for some time, several approaches will clearly not be enough.

The good news is that all people want while they are alive, so you already have desires, you just need to find them. The human brain is plastic and you can develop a new skill if you follow the instructions. It usually takes about 30 days to develop such a skill. Believe me, the result is worth it.

The instruction

Preparation: Install a program on your phone that will remind you about the practice every hour. Any interval timer is suitable for this purpose. The program should work all day, from morning to evening. Is it possible without the program? You can, but you will forget and everything will end in nothing.

🟢When you hear a reminder, you should stop, listen to your feelings and answer three questions:
🟢What are my bodily sensations?
🟢What do I feel now (feelings, emotions, states)?
🟢What do I want now?


Why exactly these questions?

It is necessary to turn to bodily sensations in order to get out of the head, where most people spend their lives, and discover themselves, and not ideas about themselves. A very useful skill, by the way.

"What do I feel now?"

Feelings are the most important component of life, if you are not in contact with them or can not recognize them, most likely it will be difficult to understand your desires. Well, in general, the topic of emotional intelligence is now sold on every corner, and this is for a start-the ability to detect and name your feelings.

"What do I want now?"

Do not wait for the New Year's fireworks and a parade of unicorns right away. First, you need to learn to notice the simplest impulses. For example, you will see that you want to change your posture or move your shoulders. Or drink, or go to the toilet (and you haven't noticed this for an hour). And only after restoring such a basic sensitivity, you will gradually be able to reach more "complex" desires. An important point is that it is necessary to do what you want (of course, within the framework of the criminal code) and get pleasure from it, at least a little.

What does this practice give?

You have two new skills-to turn attention to yourself and distinguish between signals (at first, perhaps quite weak) that speak about your condition and your desires. This is the "contact with yourself"


Warning!
This practice has one side effect, which I want to warn you about. If you start listening to yourself, you may find that things are happening in your life that do not suit you. That you are not doing what you want to do. Work, relationships, entertainment, lifestyle, then everywhere. And then the question will arise in front of you in full growth – are you ready to change this? And with wishes – they will have to be fulfilled later... So much worry!