"And in sorrow and in joy, until death do part." So to live a family life is the dream of many couples in love. In reality, there are constant conflicts due to the fact that he watches football during her favorite TV series, and she is offended that he does not like her friends and does not want to go with her to the sea, preferring skiing and fishing. The more you observe married couples, the faster you come to the conclusion that having common interests in a couple is most often a utopia.

But the lack of common interests is not yet a reason to get divorced. Let's try to analyze the situation. Our checklist contains nine criteria to help you ensure that you are in a perfectly healthy relationship, or wonder if it is time to change something.
But the lack of common interests is not yet a reason to get divorced. Let's try to analyze the situation. Our checklist contains nine criteria to help you ensure that you are in a perfectly healthy relationship, or wonder if it is time to change something.1

You trust each other

It is not only about the absence of secrets from each other, but also about trust in decision-making. If both partners put the interests of the couple or family first, there is no doubt that no matter what decision everyone makes, it will be favorable for everyone. If a person in a healthy relationship is offered a job in another country, he will not give an answer without discussing the situation with a partner. If you are unable to solve anything or, on the contrary, you are trying to control every little thing - it seems that there are problems with trust
.2

Mismatching interests is not a problem

You don't have to be together around the clock and dissolve in each other to be a good couple. It's great when there are common interests, but this is not at all the main thing in a relationship. Of course, to spend more time together, you can try to captivate your partner with something that interests you - or, conversely, try to get involved in his favorite activities.

However, it's perfectly fine if you like different music, different TV shows, and when traveling, you prefer to wallow on the beach while your partner goes to museums or shops - or vice versa. It is much more important to coincide in views on fundamental issues.

3

You spend your time quietly separately.

This point complements the previous one: different interests can mean, for example, a different social circle. If you are always more interested without a partner, you should think about it. But in a healthy relationship, jealousy or suspicion does not arise if someone occasionally spends the evening with their friends, travels, or is often on business trips. It is one thing to miss each other and rather want to see each other, it is quite another to be tormented by suspicions that your partner is cheating on you while traveling.

Trust and timely communication are key factors in a healthy relationship. A disconnected phone can be explained by a dead battery, and the fact that a person does not answer messages can be explained by his enthusiastic conversation with friends. In order not to worry in vain, it is worth agreeing that you warn each other about delays or changes in plans, and do not disappear silently.

Elementary trust is also important - in terms of house keys or access to computers. You don't have to have one Facebook account for two or throw around passwords from iPhones - after all, everyone has the right to privacy. But still, in an atmosphere of trust, you can calmly ask your partner to get something out of your bag or wallet and do not hide your phone in fear that he will see a message on the screen.


5

Conflicts are resolved by discussion

Once again, communication is very important for a healthy relationship. Not everything is always cloudless; a conflict can arise both for serious reasons and because of the irritation accumulated over trifles. A healthy relationship is not necessarily conflict-free - it is important that the problems that have arisen are discussed, and the conclusions drawn help the situation not to repeat itself.

If everyone realizes the value of relationships and wants to continue and develop them, then conflicts will be perceived as moments for reflection, discussion and learning useful lessons. You should not accumulate grievances in order to once remember them to each other - directly explain what does not suit you, and decide how you can improve the situation.

6

Sex always happens with consent

A healthy relationship has no place for violence - physical, emotional, financial or sexual. It is not always easy to realize that a relationship is abusive - especially given the attitude towards "marital duty" and the belief that a man cannot be refused from childhood. However, if sex is happening against your will every once in a while, it is worth reflecting on the fact that you are being abused and seek help.

However, a woman does not always suffer from violence - although this happens more often. A healthy attitude towards sex in a couple is the realization that both do not always want each other at the same time, and the willingness to calmly accept the rejection. If it seems to you that your partner's interest in sex has decreased, it is better to calmly discuss the situation - but the pressure on him in this case will be a manifestation of violence.
7

You laugh together

In a healthy relationship, emotions can be openly expressed, communication with each other is joyful, and the ideas of a partner are enthusiastic. You are pleased to see each other, and the conversation often brings pleasant feelings - this is a good sign. Occasional irritation or fatigue and the desire to be alone are also normal situations that do not poison relationships or friendships globally.

When, after work, you are not at all attracted to your partner, and each step towards home becomes slower - it's time to think about the problem. If you are constantly afraid to say something wrong and are used to expecting an inappropriate response, it is likely that you are being emotionally abused.

8

Both are responsible for happiness in a couple.

The toxic idea that a woman should provide an atmosphere of love and comfort in a relationship has ruined the lives of many people. Such beliefs lead to a situation where a man does not make emotional efforts and does not work on a relationship, and a woman feels guilty for not coping. Of course, this can also happen with the opposite gender distribution or in same-sex couples.

In a healthy relationship, everyone understands that the partner is not the source of happiness and well-being. Partners need each other to support and help, but everyone is responsible for their own happiness - again, taking into account the interests of both.

9

You are not trying to remake each other

If a person wants to get rid of a habit or acquire a new one and he needs help, most likely he will inform about it. Attempts to remake a partner who did not ask for it usually does not lead to a good result, at the same time worsening the relationship.

Again we are talking about respect, trust and communication: a partner is not a “second half”, but an independent person who has the right to his own interests, desires and habits. After all, the ability to accept the fact that you will have different opinions on something is also characteristic of a healthy relationship