❗️ You scribble messages after them with curses, threats, explanations or confessions of need and requests to return. You start waiting, every 10 minutes you check the messages, hope settles in you, the words of a possible dialogue of the next meeting are spinning in your head. You scold yourself for mistakes, mentally build a new image of yourself in a restored relationship, in which you will never do this again, you will be comfortable, you will foresee everything in advance, or you imagine how you can change your partner.

❗️ How to protect yourself from a destructive jam? To learn to let go, it is important to learn to grieve. This is a very important life skill – to be able to reach the very bottom of despair. Only on the stronghold of this bottom, unbearable pain can be transformed into your new quality, in gaining new strength. Only here is the place of transformation.

❗️ You may have to build up this muscle by living the experience of loss over and over again. And that's the bad news. And the good news is that if you are courageous enough on this path, healing will definitely come. Yes, it will hurt to lose, but this pain will no longer knock the life out of you, deprive you of the inner frame.

❗️ Sometimes it is impossible to go this way alone, it is important that you have someone with you who is stable, who can withstand your strong feelings – a friend, or better a psychotherapist. In psychotherapy, you will find a supportive parent in grief, which you were deprived of in childhood. And over time, you will no longer need external support, you will have a caring, stable inner parent.

❗️ The scale of grief also depends on how high the bets were placed on the partner. Here I mean how much investment the psyche has invested in a partner. When the stakes are too high, when the relationship is not just valuable, but super-valuable, then the grief takes on an unbearable scale. If an exorbitant amount of expectations is invested in a partner in a relationship, responsibility for your happiness, peace and material, mental well-being, for your status, then parting becomes impossible, because you lose not only a loved one, you lose the support that is in the other.
And you are faced with something unbearable, with the fact that it is impossible to survive alone, which is why you defended yourself in a couple. What will I fill my free time with now? How will I solve financial problems? What will people say when they find out that I am now a loner? The partner should not solve these tasks for you.

Therefore, a good prevention of getting stuck in unsatisfactory relationships is taking 100% responsibility for your life, for your happiness, material and mental well-being. This will help you survive what seems impossible to survive. This will help in the future to build a deep relationship between two mature people.

🟢 This will be followed by something new, beautiful, deep, not bringing so much pain, this will be followed by freedom of choice. I PROMISE!