To work as a free vest, an alternate airfield and a lifesaver, we are forced to play the role of a RESCUEER.

This role is usually accustomed to from childhood, and honorably played for many years ...

And now, putting on the Superwoman's virtual cloak, you are ready to rush in the middle of the night to the other side of the city to your friend who has just been abandoned by a guy. It doesn't matter if you have an interview tomorrow, or you're tired after a tough day.

To give my savings to my parents for repairs, although I really wanted to go on vacation to Turkey.

To support the family while the husband is in a creative search, and to bathe herself in the boring position of someone's assistant. (((

Ignoring your needs and relegating yourself to the background are symptoms of a “lifeguard complex”. There is always someone more important than you, and someone who needs your help. Never mind that bruises under the eyes and irritation overflow. But there is a sweet sense of self-importance and significance.

Getting into the role of a rescuer is not accidental. Behind this is the fear of appearing selfish and the inability to take care of yourself. The ability to avoid responsibility to oneself. There are many reasons to “be a lifeguard”.

But they are always about running away from your true desires.
How long does it take to go nowhere while trying to solve the problems of your boyfriend, who is in another depression.
While hanging out in bars with a friend who urgently needs to find a soul mate.
While you are dealing with someone's problems.

Yes, while you are building a hero out of yourself, you are not writing your book, you are not building a career, you are not traveling, you are not living the life of your dreams ...

Sometimes, in order to save yourself, you have to stop saving others.

P.S. I partially recognize myself in this) (... and you?