Very frequent answers to this question:
- You need to do as he wants and not argue
- You need to take care of him and make him feel good
- You need to show how cool you are
Do you have something from this category? If so, it's a glitch.

See. The first comes from understanding the relationship with parents. To please parents, you need to do as it says. The same applies to teachers, for example. Do what you're told and there won't be any problems. And then they will also praise.

The second comes from the ideas of romantic love in popular culture.

The third one I associate with teenage posturing. "Check it out, guys, I tore off the last iPhone and new nikes."

There is only one problem here: all these methods do not work!


✅ DO NOT CONTRADICT


The first method removes you as a person from the relationship. You become not interesting, because you are not particularly here. There is a human clone. Well, or its continuation. He begins to treat you as his part. This can only work in terms of codependent relationships when he really needs another tentacle. But it will be addiction, not love.

You can respect another person only when he respects himself. When he says what he thinks himself. Decides for himself. And when he does not decide, does not think and does not speak, then what is there to respect?


✅ CARE

The second method is trying to buy love.

- "I'll give you candy (and you love me)"

- "I'll cover you with a blanket (and you love me)"

When you don't appreciate my efforts and logic doesn't work, what should I do? Right! We need to pay EVEN MORE attention.


✅ SHOW THAT YOU ARE GOOD

The third way to get love is self-promotion. This is an important point, it needs to be done, no one argues. But everything needs to be done wisely. It's one thing to demonstrate (especially in practice) your positive qualities. Strengthen them, make them more visible.

Another thing is to praise yourself. It's good if you are initially interesting to someone else. Then he may even not mind listening to a detailed presentation. But it can also be tiring.

And if initially you weren't interested, then you turn into that guy who "Want to talk about our God?". Nobody wants to! Everyone wants to talk about THEIR God. And not about someone else's.

That is, instead of being interested in others, a person using a self-promotion pattern is trying to attract interest in himself. And this is difficult and not effective.



✅ HOW TO GET LOVE?

To begin with, we must admit that there is no way. That it doesn't depend on you. It's like trying to attract a weekend. Or the sun on the weekend. It's like, "let that handsome guy sit next to you."


What do people then?
- they beg, they whine, they press on pity
- demand, force, scandal
Obviously, none of this also contributes to getting love and correcting the situation.

This is childish, in fact, behavior that comes from the inability to recognize one's limitations. Not in terms of "you're kind of limited, keck," but in terms of "the limitations of your capabilities." The inability to live through the pain of broken hopes.

And instead of dancing around, caring, giving, begging, demanding, pleasing and humiliating yourself, doing self-praise, you just need to step back and show the person that you respect his choice and right.

No, don't move away and look expressively. And move away and... drum roll... take care of yourself!


General meaning:
Everyone is trying to get love in obvious and buggy ways that only spoil everything.
In order not to spoil anything and get a chance to improve - you need to take care of yourself. To detach from the other and become an independent wolf with paws. And run, run through the snow!