Quite often, jealousy is confused with envy. When there is jealousy for the success of colleagues, friends, spouse or even a child, then there will be a feeling of envy. Envy differs from jealousy by the desire to possess what the other person has, including some opportunities and freedom of choice, the freedom to be oneself.
If it were possible to describe the universal reason for the origin of jealousy, then I would define it as a feeling of possessiveness. A person who is an owner is a person who does not want or is afraid to lose a “beloved” object. If you look deep into the personality of a jealous person, then there is usually a fear of abandonment. A person begins to strive to keep another nearby at any cost and in no case allows him to "abandon" himself. There is control over the life of a loved one, excessive control, sometimes reaching the point of absurdity.
Jealousy actually has little to do with love. Jealous, does not mean love, but jealous, means afraid of losing. If he loses, then he will have to endure a terrible feeling of loneliness. An unconscious fear of losing a relationship makes a person cling to the object of attachment with all his might and control another person, his life. And in fact, a jealous person thus devalues ​​his life and his ability to take care of himself on his own and to do something very important for himself in the first place.A jealous person may have a fantasy that the other person willingly does not want to stay in a relationship with him. Therefore, there is a feeling that if he lets go of the partner from the field of vision, then he will never return to him in his life or will leave him forever.
You can learn not to be jealous! I don’t have a universal recipe, but the first thing a jealous person should start with is to take a trip deeper into his personality and raise his own self-esteem. When you feel with every cell of your being that you are accepted the way you are and you are attractive to another person, then the need to hold your partner will go away by itself, he will be there. And you just need to be with him.
In most cases, we do not think that under jealousy a variety of feelings can be hidden, and jealousy serves only as a cover, a kind of screen. And just here there are a lot of feelings, and you can't immediately figure out which of them and for which one goes. The list is endless and for each person in his particular story, it will, of course, be individual: anxiety, fear, sadness, anger and many other feelings. It is important, I think, not to ignore the situation when jealousy carries excessive suspicion, humiliation and control over the life and behavior of another person. This is already a signal that it is time to think about the true reasons for jealousy.
Constant and strong jealousy usually indicates that there is a rather serious problem either in a relationship or within a person's personality. At least, each of us may well take responsibility for our lives and feelings, deal with them on our own or with the help of a psychologist.