The model of disconnection and the desire to "keep a partner at a distance" is formed as a result of a violation of attachment in early childhood. The child makes the decision "not to be close" when he does not have a warm and trusting relationship with his parents, with an early experience of betrayal, if his boundaries are constantly violated.

The fear of intimacy makes it impossible to stay in contact. There are resentments, outbursts of anger, a desire to escape from the relationship.

People with a fear of intimacy do not know how to establish a relationship framework. They are characterized by difficulties in defending their interests, expressing their desires.

In marriage, it is necessary to find a balance of interaction in different spheres. Between loneliness and time spent together. Between sexual accessibility and isolation, involvement in the life of a partner and detachment from him. When each of the partners has their own space and a place for contact.

Staying in a relationship is much more difficult than creating one. The spouses successfully cope with their tasks. An important role is played by the study of personal traumas by each of them – the fear of rejection in the husband, the fear of absorption, merger in the wife.

In a marital relationship, it is important to be able to be close without losing yourself. Perhaps this is the family happiness.