The birth of a second child is an event in which the whole family is involved, but especially the child who already exists🤔. Wait a few seconds and think about what is on his mind when he sees his mother holding a child who has so much attention. At such moments, he may feel abandoned, replaced, excluded☝️ ...

What problems can arise with an older child, how to overcome them and prepare the first-born for the appearance of a brother or sister😱.

What should parents prepare for?
The main problem that parents face is the jealousy of the older child. His feelings are quite understandable - before the birth of the youngest, all the attention of adults belonged to him, and now the baby is very worried about the loss🥺. After all, at first the whole life of the family revolves around a newborn who needs maximum care😍.

1. Inform your child about the arrival of the baby in advance
The child should be told about the replenishment of the family to the parents, and not to other adults. It is better to inform him about the joyful event at about the third month of pregnancy, so that he has time to get used to the changes in his life.

2. Discuss with your first child what will happen after the birth of a brother or sister.
The expected birth of the baby should be discussed with the child. Parents should tell the elder that the baby will require a lot of attention at first. Explain to your son or daughter that mom and dad won't love them any less.

3. Do not scold for the manifestation of aggression towards the youngest child
An older child must be listened to, even if he says “wrong”, in the opinion of adults, things. For example, that she does not want a brother or sister at all, or that she will not love him. Do not scold the first-born for this, it is better to give him the opportunity to speak. The very fact that parents understand the feelings of the child will give him the strength to cope with his experiences.

4. Do not associate the changes in the life of an older child with the arrival of a younger one.
All significant changes in the life of a child - moving to another room, visiting a kindergarten should not be associated with the birth of the youngest. It is better to do this before childbirth, or postpone it to a later period.

5. Involve your child in making decisions about your baby.
The first-born will feel his involvement in the upcoming event if the parents discuss with him all the pressing issues. He can help choose a crib, toys and clothes for the baby, take part in choosing a name, pick up a gift for a brother or sister.

6. Tell your older child about his infancy
Parents can tell the elder about how he was as a child, how he behaved in his mother’s stomach, show photos of his infancy period and explain that his brother or sister will be born as small and helpless as he was a few years ago.

7. Tell your child how he can show care for the baby.
The child should be warned that the newborn will not be able to play with him immediately in order to avoid disappointment. It is good to focus on pleasant moments, to make it clear to the first-born that he can take care of the youngest, to teach him everything that he himself can do.

8. Show your child a positive example of families with many children.
It is good if the parents have friends in whose family there are several children. You can take the elder to visit them. Tell him about the benefits of a big family and show him how much fun it is for kids to play with each other. Tell him that he will play like this with his brother or sister as soon as the baby is a little older.

9. Expand your child's social circle with peers
Parents should try to ensure that the child has a social circle outside the family. If he communicates more with other children, his life will not be connected only with his parents, and he will painlessly endure the appearance of the baby.
There are a few rules for parents who have multiple children:
- do not compare (“You see how your brother studies well, look how obedient, how quickly he gets up and washes”);
- not to be a judge (but to be able to resolve conflicts, listen to one side, the other and try to try on, not take the side of one child);
- respect and accept the difference of children (features, individualities, for example, one is very slow, the other is fast, one is an owl, the other is a lark, etc.);
- do not hang labels ("you are superfluous", "do not interfere", "get away");
- remove the concepts of “equally” and “equally” (the child receives something depending on the need);
- the same rights and obligations (one wipes the dust, the other collects toys, etc.);
- personal space (regardless of whether everyone has a separate children's room, or they share one space, everyone should have a place where only he is the owner);
- show love (there is never a lot of love, there is little); – be available (for each child when he needs it, leave everything and listen / take the time)
- Spend as much time together as possible. If the elder is doing homework, do not say “Do not interfere” to the smaller one, but give a pen, a piece of paper and let him do “his” lessons.
Together they make dumplings / play. All this unites and makes both children happy.
You need to find the right approach for the child!