Falling in love, we usually hope that a new hobby will "grow" into great love. And just as naturally we are disappointed, because these feelings are of a different nature.
After all, we fall in love with our ideas about someone, almost always having nothing to do with reality. We perceive a partner as if through a special filter: we exaggerate charms, “do not notice” what does not correspond to our fictitious image of a loved one or beloved.
We are interested, rather, not in the qualities of a partner, but in our own vivid emotions. We seem to have an affair with ourselves against the background of an unknown person who, with extreme narcissism, runs the risk of remaining just an extra.
Why dig into someone's life when it's so nice to fly in the clouds?
Love by its very nature is unconditional, it is based not on fantasy, but on the acceptance of a real person in all its manifestations. Moreover, we do not idealize anyone; we definitely don’t like something in a loved one, we have different views on some things, but we still accept it.
Also, in turn, we do not adjust, we do not try to please everyone, but relying on mutual acceptance and understanding, we reveal our own individuality.
Where, you ask, will all the fears, distrust, masks and resentments go? They won't be needed anymore. After all, the ability to love involves the acceptance of not only others, but above all oneself.
This is a two-sided vector. By learning to feel our own uniqueness, worry about ourselves, be alone with ourselves and not experience boredom and anxiety, we can realize our own value as a person.
There will be no need to make an impression, show "dice", play a role so that we can open up without harming the world around us.
And then, without fear and bargaining, we will look around with wide eyes and, finally, we will feel love.