Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When I first enrolled as a psychologist and started writing some notes, my fear of condemnation was very great.

It seemed to me that all my acquaintances would now begin to find my own injuries in my articles, and more experienced colleagues would laugh at my pathetic attempts to talk about psychology. Any negative comment knocked the ground out from under my feet and caused a violent desire to leave social networks. But, fortunately, I already had the tools of cognitive behavioral therapy in my life, and therefore, instead of closing myself off from the world and hiding in the sink, I sat down and analyzed each such thought for adequacy and rationality. And just changed it to healthier conclusions.

Now, receiving negative comments from anyone (except loved ones... when loved ones criticize, it always hurts).... I walk by calmly.

And it happened thanks to several factors:

1. My self-confidence has grown.

2. Along with practical experience, my impostor syndrome has gone.

3. I have worked out my fear of judgment and dependence on someone else's opinion.



But why is the fear of condemnation such a frequent and big problem for many?

According to anthropologists, two-thirds of people's communication consists of discussing others. 2/3, CARL! And at the same time, only 10% of this is due to laudatory reviews and admiration of others. And 90% is criticism, gossip and condemnation.
That is, people are so arranged that most of their communication is a discussion of others. Therefore, whatever you do and whatever you broadcast to the world, just accept that you will be judged. Even if you are Buddha and Jesus in one bottle.

Consequently, all our concern about what others think about us is an absolutely meaningless and useless thing. And certainly not a reason to be afraid to declare yourself.

People will always think bullshit about you.

Take it as an axiom and just exhale.

Are you afraid of condemnation?

𝐊𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲🐈𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐢