There is a type of people who are very afraid of emotional intimacy - all these tenderness, declarations of love, romance. It is they who try to dilute all the touching moments in a couple with some kind of sarcastic joke, and after a particularly close contact they begin to behave like jerks. In psychology, this can be explained by counter-dependence, an avoidant type of attachment, etc. But the essence of this does not change - a person is afraid of close emotional contact. And without him, as you know, healthy warm relationships are impossible.

Very often such people suffer from loneliness. But there is another option - to have many sexual partners, so that, God forbid, not to stick to one person. And sometimes it's so unconscious that a person seems to want a family, but for some reason all the time remains only in the role of a sexual partner.

And then the situation looks like this - a woman comes to the reception and complains that she can't get married. All men want only one thing from her, and when they get it, they disappear. Or, even worse, they leave her as a mistress, and they go to build a serious relationship with someone else.

When asked how quickly she moves into intimate relationships with men, it turns out that sometimes on the first date.

Because,
a) - I've been alone for a long time and I really want to,
b) - sometimes I just can't refuse the pressure of a man.

This is not bad or good, but in the case of counter-dependence, this is a typical way to ruin a relationship at the very beginning. A person is afraid of romance, which usually accompanies the courtship period, plus he is afraid to open up emotionally, which inevitably happens if he communicates with each other for a long time. Therefore, a counter-dependent person simply jumps over the stage of recognizing each other and establishing an emotional connection, and very quickly sexualizes the contact.

And sex without emotions rarely leads to something serious. Because after it, people feel particularly alienated to each other and this is repulsive, even if the process itself was very good. And then, I kind of want a bingo relationship, but for some reason others don't take me seriously. Man is unhappy. The counter-dependency is satisfied.

What do you think about it? It is very interesting to find out how men see this situation....but the women of course, too...

How fast or how long should the time pass before intimacy?

Is intimacy acceptable on a first date? Have you had such an experience?

Can a quick intimacy turn into romance and then into a family?

Do you have any intimacy?


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