01
Try to look at your partner more often with admiration 😍😍

The most attracted to a person is when he is passionate about something that he really likes. Psychologist and writer Esther Perel, working on her book "Reproduction in captivity", traveled and simultaneously conducted research in two dozen countries. For one of the studies about passion in a long-lasting relationship, she asked people the same question: "When do you feel that you want your partner most?" Everyone gave surprisingly similar answers, and in the top it was like this: "I am most attracted to a person at a time when he is completely absorbed in his favorite thing." Try to watch your partner when he does what he does best. And catch the feeling that right now he is bathing in the rays of glory. This feeling of inaccessibility of the partner spurs sexual attraction as much as possible.

02
Maintain autonomy from your
partner 🙋🏻‍♀️👸🏻

For many of us, the image of love is associated with the image of merging. And the more complete and exhaustive this merger is, the stronger love seems. Because of this, any attempt to take away your piece of autonomy causes many difficulties, especially if only one partner needs this autonomy. But in fact, partnership is not equal to a merger, because there is no distance in the merger. And the desire survives only if each of the partners retains personal space. Therefore, try to encourage autonomy of your partner's interests. And allow yourself (if necessary, defend) the right to have hobbies that you will not share with him.

03
Remember that your sex life with yourself is incredibly important ❗️🔞

Relationships are not a sex subscription. Many people think that while they are not in a couple, they can masturbate, watch porn, buy sex toys and so on. But as soon as a partner appears, he becomes not only the main, but also the only source of sexual satisfaction. But in reality, each of us has two sexual lives: with the participation of other people and with ourselves. And this can just help balance the inconsistencies of sexual desires: what is unclaimed in partner sex goes into solo activities. In addition, solo life gives the feeling that no one but you has power over your body.

04
Don't try to meet the norm 🧜🏼‍♀️

Many people have an idea that there is some healthy "normal sex", and they want to deal with a regular partner. As if you can experiment with random partners and realize your fantasies, and in long-term relationships it is unacceptable. And often people who have such a framework love their partners very much, but want to have sex with someone else. Only two practices out of all diversity are considered normal everywhere - penetration and kissing in the mouth. Would you like your sex to 100% consist of only these two things?
The experience that you do not meet some sexual norm makes you unhappy and dissatisfied. Because often practices that are considered normal do not bring pleasure to everyone. Most women can't get an orgasm only from sex with penetration. Therefore, shake the concept of "norms in sex" within yourself - forget about the words "abnormal", "perverted", "sick" when you talk about sexual desires.

05
Forget about erogenous zones ❌

In Marty Klein's book "Sexual Intelligence" there is an interesting idea that the idea of dividing the body into zones that are related to sex and into zones that have nothing to do with it is fundamentally wrong. When we are excited, the whole body becomes one continuous erogenous zone. If we are tired, irritated, offended, cold or scared, even the sexiest parts of our body become insensitive.
Then what is the practical point of dividing the body into sexual zones and non-sexual zones? This limits imagination and demotivates us to study each other. At the same time, often those areas of the body that are not considered erogenous can bring much more pleasure: for example, foot massage.