Make the final decision

Even if leaving is a voluntary matter, this does not mean at all that it will be easy. Psychologists explain why the path to the new is so thorny: “By giving preference to one thing, we inevitably reject the other, one way or another, we eliminate one of the options. Simply put, we rejoice in the acquisition and mourn the loss at the same time. This is the price that must be paid for the opportunity to go in search of happiness and harmony.” Often it is this feeling of loss that prevents us from making a final decision and moving towards a new one.
Adds indecision and fear of leaving the comfort zone: “I feel bad, but I still can’t leave - who knows, what if it gets even worse?” Psychologists explain our inherent procrastination with decision-making by craving for stability and the desire to streamline chaos: “If you watch young children, you can see that they are all conservatives. The constancy of the external world is necessary for them until a certain time to form a sense of their own "I". If a person has experienced a lack of stability, he will try to compensate for it later in life.”
To gather your courage, it is important to bring your thoughts to a certain balance, to find enough reasons for yourself to change. The most adequate position is to go not from something, but towards something, for example, from unsatisfactory relationships not to loneliness, but to inner peace and tranquility.

Say goodbye to the past

Often we strive to quickly say goodbye to the boring reality, which for some reason has ceased to please us. We want to forget it like a bad dream, wake up and start living a new life as soon as possible. Such haste can be explained by the work of the protective mechanisms of the psyche: it is difficult for us to accept pain, resentment and loss, so we prefer to pretend that nothing special and even more important has not happened. And thus we devalue our own experience, we ignore important experience.
Saying goodbye to the past is an important life step. However, if we always treat fractures of, say, limbs with exaggerated attention, then we treat a turning point in our own destiny with inexplicable indifference. Dismissal, parting with a person is always a loss, through which we go through four stages: denial, aggression, depression, acceptance. True, depending on the situation, these feelings can be different in intensity.
However, not saying goodbye means wasting energy on “emotional tails”, which cannot but affect new beginnings. To let go of the past, remember the good things, even if there were very few of them, and find an opportunity to express your feelings. You can use such phrases: “I learned a lot in this position”, “I remember how fun we went on vacation with you”. This will be quite enough to emotionally warm up the difficult moment of farewell, as well as start the mechanism of your experiences.

Get over the loss

Pain, sadness and sadness are the constant payment for the transition to the new. Those who do not want to face these difficult feelings sometimes carry them with them for decades. Fortunately, there are several ways to express feelings and calm down.
To begin with, say thank you to those you are leaving: “Thanks to your severity, I got to know myself better”, “Thank you for all the good things that happened in our relationship.” So you make it clear to the person and you yourself draw attention to the fact that the time you spent together was not in vain.
Sometimes guilt can be mixed in with the experience of loss. It is important to understand whether it is fair or false. For example, if you, having made the final decision to leave, tell your partner something like “let's live a little separately”, considering it as an alternate airfield, you may suffer from feelings of guilt. And it will be fair, because you are deceiving a person, hiding true intentions. If you don’t tell the truth, because you yourself doubt – “can he be able without me?” is a false guilt based on a sense of codependency. In both cases, it is important to put an end to it and clearly define your position, not to leave a person to suffer from uncertainty.
When undermining guilt for past mistakes, the best thing to do is to apologize. It is necessary to choose the right moment and say: "I admit that I was wrong", "I made a mistake in that project, I'm sorry I let it down then." Be sincere, speak from the bottom of your heart, but do not indulge in explanations, excuses, showdowns, your task is to put an end to the relationship, fully experience the feelings associated with them and live on. If the interlocutor hardly accepts your frankness, shake his hand, touch his shoulder. You can cry, but in a different place, not necessarily in his presence. You may want to say everything without holding back. When leaving, it is important to feel entitled to someday reopen the door of this relationship, and not burn bridges. So it will be easier to recover and start a new life.

Adapt to the new

At the moment when we finally get what we were striving for, there is a feeling of euphoria. New impressions, places, people - reality is perceived as if through rose-colored glasses. This state can be called the "honeymoon" period. Nothing bothers you, everything seems perfect. However, it is important to understand that this stage is a temporary phenomenon, and soon after it there will be a difficult period of adaptation. According to psychologists, in changed circumstances (in a new place of residence, in other relationships, or in a desired position), a lot of unusual things appear that can be tiring and annoying. You will have to get used to absolutely everything - from the route to the new office to the daily routine. And, the most difficult thing is to adapt to a different circle of communication. It is likely that doubts will arise: “Why did I start this at all?”, I will want to take a step back. This “culture shock” is an inevitable period that simply needs to be experienced. It is worth trusting yourself, believing that you will have enough strength and resources. It’s good to remember at this moment: why did you come to this?
It's worth finding a person who has experienced such changes with whom you can share your difficulties. By the way, it can be someone from a new environment: in this way you will make new connections and quickly understand what is happening around, what customs and rituals should be followed and what is not desirable to do. The sooner you can learn the new rules, the sooner the panic will recede, confidence will appear. By the way, a good way is to keep a reflection diary in order to learn to separate objective facts and your personal interpretation, not to attribute the actions and actions of other people to personal account. In addition, it will help to get rid of negative, disturbing thoughts, to remain more open in communication. Our life is full of changes, the rise is always followed by a decline - and this is normal - so it is worth moving forward, but at the same time understanding that this stage will also end someday.