While some couples are enjoying every minute spent together (and have used the period of self-isolation well, getting even closer to each other), others are barely holding back so as not to destroy the fragile relationship that they have left. Together with an expert, a psychologist and a female coach, we figured out how to correct the situation and what to do if your feelings began to fade.

It seems that everything is fine, 3-5-10 years of marriage, there are children, but ... The passion has cooled down, the lightness has come to naught and you and your husband live like neighbors. What to do if the relationship has become insipid? How to refresh them and get your partner interested again?

Why is there a problem?
If it seems to you that the family is collapsing and the relationship with your husband tends to minus infinity, then you have already taken the first step towards a solution - you have realized the problem. On the internet and social media, you can find tons of information, from wearing skirts to telling him to go to hell. But it all boils down to the fact that if a husband behaves somehow wrong, it means that you are abnormal, not a woman. And you really start to feel like that!

But you should pay attention to your parental family. That's where you can find clues. Perhaps your mother has always been in charge, holding power and wallet in her own hands, and your father was in the backyard. Or she was cold with your dad, and he constantly came tired, ate, watched TV and went to bed. Hugging and showing affection was not accepted. And now you are unconsciously copying the parent script of behavior.

At a psychologist's appointment, you can resolve this issue by going back to childhood and working through traumas and beliefs about family life. As soon as you start focusing on yourself and your desires, lightness will come, and compliments from your husband, and passion - as at the very beginning.

Non-verbal communication techniques

Not only words can help you freshen up your relationship. Behavior, mannerisms, casual touches - try it and evaluate what will change.

Basic need

Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages. How to Express Love to Your Companion” talks about the fact that each of us needs our own special manifestation of love: Caring (help);

- Touch (kinesthetic);
-Quality spent time;
-Compliments;
-Present.
Find out what is literally vital for your man. If you provide for his basic need, he will never go to another.

"Bermuda Triangle"

The geography of the face is divided into three zones:

-Social (eyes, cheeks). Look here only in a safe situation. Such a look will not be aggressive or seductive.
-Dominant or domineering (middle of the forehead, between the eyebrows). A look into this zone changes the atmosphere of the conversation, makes it very serious, as if “subjugating” a man. Use very rarely!
- Intimate (lips). The gaze glides over the eyes, and then falls below the chin.

"Mental Strokes"

During a conversation with a man (even on the phone), imagine that you are lightly stroking his head, shoulders, holding his hand. Choose which option suits you best and which gives the best effect. And remember - thoughts are material!

"Magic Key"

Determine the type of your man:

-thinking / decisive - when making a decision, prefers to be logical, impartial and objective.
-feeling / perceiving - draws attention to the emotional factor, interpersonal relationships and subjective assessment of the situation.
Each of these types has its own keywords. Using them in a conversation, you will be more likely to win over your partner and convey to him what you feel, what you want, what you dream about.
Thinking/decisive type - objectivity, firmness, justice, analytical, impartial, confirmed by research, result, certainty, plan, structure, control, manage, deadline. For the feeler/perceiver - flexible, unresolved, tentative, along the way, process, openness, question, subjectivity, emotionality, persuasion, harmony, sensitivity, support, good attitude.

"Pendulum"

When it comes to what's important to you, lean into the man. So you will find yourself in his intimate zone of communication. This may be the topic of a new source of income, a joint trip, going to the cinema. And deviate when something that is not particularly interesting to you is discussed.

So you increase in his mind the value of what is important to you.

These practices will allow you to involve the desired man in a relationship, revive the routine in an already established marriage, and take you and your partner to a new level of understanding and support. All in your hands!