In recent years, according to statistics, more than 50% of married couples have broken up on the territory of the CIS countries. Just imagine - more than half! And that's just the official statistics. How many people do not file for divorce, continue to live together, but do not communicate or constantly sort things out. A large number of couples break up before marriage.
If you imagine real numbers, what percentage of people really love each other and are happy together, then it becomes a little scary. Units. To be convinced of this, look at your relationships, at your friends, acquaintances. How many of these couples do you personally know?

And all why? Because instead of learning to build relationships, we taught mathematics, physics, chemistry. Can you imagine how cool it would be if there was a subject in school that teaches you how to build relationships with other people?

The system is built in such a way that throughout life we ​​are engaged in the development of only our IQ. And we believe that it is he who determines our success in life. Undoubtedly, the level of intelligence is important to build a successful life. At the same time, he cannot guarantee success in building relationships with other people. It remains to learn only from their own experience and the experience of their parents. And such an experience is often not a positive one. What to do in this case?

Develop your emotional intelligence! It is emotional intelligence that determines how happy or unhappy you will be in relationships with other people. After all, the strongest friendship, the strongest love is built not on the level of our IQ, but on other things.
Which ones exactly? What do you need to do to build a happy and strong relationship?
Understand and share emotions.

Just because we have put all our efforts into learning to “think”, we have completely forgotten how to feel. We became afraid of our own and other people's emotions, so we stopped sharing them. Correctly! It’s easier to discuss the weather, problems at work, everyday issues - it’s “much more important” than what is happening inside us. It's sarcasm!

Recall the moments when you felt the most intimate with your partner. Remember when, after some quarrel, when everyone did not understand each other, you began to talk about how you feel. And how everything became immediately clear and easy. When we began to understand why our significant other is angry or upset. When we ourselves understood what was happening to us.

This is the first and one of the most important secrets of a relationship - understanding and sharing emotions gives freedom in a relationship. When we understand how we feel, we can explain to the partner in an understandable way what is happening to us and what we want. When we allow ourselves to share, we feel the most real intimacy, because we begin to speak in a completely different language. The language of feelings is the main language of relationships that can be negotiated.

2. Understand and satisfy your needs and your partner

Why do we need relationships? Everyone determines for himself. But, in general, we need them in order to get more pleasure and joy, to be happier than alone.

The simplest and, at the same time, the most difficult question: “What do I want?”

The answer to this question determines our needs - what we need in order to be content and happy.

Can you talk to your partner about your wants and needs? Can you ask him to help you fulfill them? What are you willing to do in return?

Most often there are 3 pictures in a relationship.
When a partner does not know what he wants and what he needs, therefore he cannot even tell or ask about it. As a result, there is an expectation that the other half should find out for him. But, he cannot do this, and as a result, the relationship is full of disappointment, unfulfilled expectations and discontent.

When a person knows about his needs and desires, but does not talk about them because he is afraid. Afraid to be uncomfortable, once again "strain" a person, etc. As a result, he is silent, and only does what satisfies the needs of the partner, and “scores” on his own.

When a person knows what he needs, talks about it, but is not ready to give and do something for another himself. As a result, relationships only work in one direction. One always takes and the other always gives. Over time, it no longer turns into a relationship between a man and a woman, but into a relationship between a parent and a child.
It's sad, but the way it is. As taught, so to speak. But, there is another version of the development of events, where everyone is fine. Yes, yes, yes, it exists!

Everything starts to go much better when each of the partners understands what he needs, knows what is important for him, can BOLDLY declare this to his soulmate and is ready to hear the same from his soulmate.

How does this help in building a happy relationship?
Most often, we can guess what our loved one wants, but we cannot know for sure. Therefore, it is very cool when he can tell us about it directly. This ensures that the needs and desires
in a couple will be satisfied in both directions. Or, at least, they will know about them for sure, and not speculate. We get the real freedom in relationships.

3. Have common goals in a relationship and achieve them together

Over time, after a year or two or three, the storm of feelings that was at first subsides a bit and the relationship becomes insipid, understandable, familiar. The energy on which they started is gradually depleting its reserve, and there is no new replenishment.

The lack of common goals in a relationship is a very common reason for breakups. Children may be a common goal for a while, but what about when they begin to grow or they are not there yet? Therefore, it is worth thinking, discussing, shaping and moving towards common goals!

Goals are what gives energy, this is the third important secret of a happy relationship. Common goals bring together cooler than common problems. You know the saying: "The best friend is known in trouble?" And you may have noticed that you can rally when a threat arises and become a "combat unit" if you really need to. That's just a survival strategy, where there is neither pleasure nor satisfaction from relationships.

So "a partner is known for common purposes." Problems are always about the past. Goals are about the future. When you and your loved one are united by a common idea, desire, and move together in this direction, it fills you with energy that was not there even at the very beginning. This is what strengthens and develops your relationship.

Thus, the answer to the question: "How to build a happy relationship?" is to understand and share your emotions, understand and talk about your needs in both directions and go together towards common goals! It seems to be unrealistic. But, we assure you it is more than real. These are all skills that are trained throughout life.

The main thing is to want and allow yourself to be happy next to your loved one, everything else is training! Start trying today, you will be amazed at the results that openness and sincerity can bring!

We are waiting for your sincere comments that help you to be happy and survive in these difficult conditions of our reality. But we are ready for others, those who devalue relationships and emotions because they do not understand them and do not know how to manage them.