Gratitude to parents is a topic frayed from all sides. From the very pot, they drive into the head of each with a ten-pound hammer:

Your parents gave you life, be grateful.
You are fed, clothed and educated - you are obliged until the end of your days.
Everything your parents did was for your good. Say thank you. And leave your opinion you know where!
In fact, "good aunt-advisers" deftly manipulate our feelings. Feelings of guilt and duty. The desire to be "good" in the eyes of the public. And the desire to comply with social norms is a powerful lever:


"It's a shame to be so ungrateful!"
How can you say that to your mother?!

You feel like you have to play by the rules. You pull yourself up, you condemn, you try to find at least a drop of gratitude in your soul. But warmth inside in relation to parents is not added.

And that's when the brain starts drilling thoughts:

Is this feeling of gratitude necessary at all?
- How to squeeze it out of yourself if your soul is empty?
“And why break yourself like that if they didn’t really try to deserve this gratitude?”

I will say this: kick yourself at least until you lose your pulse in order to awaken gratitude, but it will not be possible to fix relationships that now either consist of scandals or take place in irreconcilable silence and rejection.
Chances are you already have some practice in finding gratitude. Surely they tested the power of self-hypnosis on themselves, awakened their conscience, sought mercy and forgiveness. Apparently not found...

Despite all efforts, the notorious feeling of gratitude remained something mythical, almost like unicorns. It is quite possible that there are real reasons for such coldness. Start with this. Realize exactly what you blame your parents for. What is blocking your relationship right now?

There may be many options. But most often one of the following reasons acts.

Reason 1: Poor Parental Attitude in Childhood
This is not forgotten. It is not erased from memory either after 20 years or after 40. It is worth remembering, and inside everything boils from unspoken claims and grievances. And serious and justified. It's not that easy to get rid of them.

Reason 2: rivalry with parents
You say to yourself: “I will never be like that!” And you do everything in life from the opposite. Not like them.
You repeat: “I will be better than you, I can and I will prove it!”. And lie down with bones to achieve more than your parents. Although you do not need this "more" at all.
As a result, such rivalry dooms a woman to at least problems in her personal life. Because instead of creating her own family, she is trying to win the competition with her mother in her parents' family. And this is a guaranteed defeat!