Stages of love

1. Hunger, or falling in love
What's happening? Euphoria, passion, burst of energy, powerful motivation for growth, achievement, constant intimacy with a partner. Why is this period necessary? To accumulate romantic moments, vivid memories - such a preparation of firewood for the winter for the next periods, when everything will no longer be so simple and rosy. Are there any downsides? Undoubtedly. The period is short - from a month to a year. Then there are regrets about its end, dependence on those feelings, constant attempts to fix everything, return it as it was. Falling in love forms a distorted idea of ​​a partner, you see him in pink colors, this is not only a psychological, but also a physiological phenomenon. Then the opinion about the partner changes, but it does not deteriorate, but becomes more detailed, more holistic.

2. Saturation
What's happening? Reducing the degree of obsession while maintaining the pleasure of communication. There is space for other thoughts and interests besides the partner, and it is important to develop not only the relationship, but also yourself. At this point, it is worth evaluating the prospects for relationships and making sure in thin places. What is the most important thing? You begin to feel that everything is not so rosy for you, and the first alarming bells appear that it is important not to miss. How not to spoil everything? do not merge with a partner, forgetting about yourself and your interests; do not close your eyes to the misbehavior of a loved one; do not make unilateral sacrifices if you do not see a willingness to compromise on the part of your partner; do not build illusions about the uniqueness of your relationship; do not try to make your partner your property; no need to manipulate, whine and impose if you see that your partner does not need you.

3. Satiation
What's happening? The appearance of personal space and a reasonable distance between partners, which may be perceived inadequately. Anxiety is growing, major quarrels, resentment, discontent occur. At this stage, many couples break up because it seems to them that love is over. There seems to be an abyss between you: you do not hear and do not want to hear each other.

4. Disgust
What's happening? Complete sobering. You no longer have illusions about your partner, you know all his pluses and minuses. There is an active collision of worlds and a dialogue of differences, frequent conflicts, misunderstanding. What will help? All the "firewood" accumulated at the stage of falling in love is now used up, and if you survived the first stage correctly, then this reserve will be enough for you to positively resolve problems. Often keeps from breaking a legal marriage with common property and obligations that are too lazy to share. How to distinguish disgust from the end of a relationship? you took a sober look at your partner and found that you chose the wrong one (perhaps he was not who he claimed to be); the partner is incapable of dialogue, is always offended, manipulates or simply does not hear anything; the partner is basically unsuitable for relationships and building a family. How to pass this stage? Many couples end relationships at this stage, but the good news is that if you try hard enough, the revulsion will quickly pass. It is important to remember that this is the normal development of a relationship. Constantly remind yourself that next to you is not a random person, that you chose him with your mind and heart. Actively talk with your partner, act together.

5. Patience and AcceptanceWhat's going on?
Peace and quiet. You know very well what kind of person is next to you and what to expect from him. Nothing pleases you, but nothing infuriates you, and you want to look around, so this period is dangerous with potential promiscuity and betrayal. At this stage, it is easy to get stuck for a long time and live the rest of your life. How to pass this stage? Restraining factors (children, property, business) are important, which will not allow abrupt end of the relationship. Don't take things personally in the relationship. Be aware and informed, contact a psychologist to understand what is happening.
What will make the situation worse? Lack of money, betrayal, bad habits, conflict with other family members.

6. True love
What's happening? You already know and fully understand the person, you have in your hands a ready-made instruction for its operation. You care about each other, act as a team, wish each other well, are grateful to each other for the joint experience. You are much closer than being in love.

7. Spiritual friendship
What's happening? You have grown into each other, you are really one, you have your own world. It is already very difficult for you to live without each other; maybe you are the happy old man that all young couples want to be like. Most likely, after reading the text, you figured out what stage you are at. But how to understand what is happening with you: are you just at a difficult stage, or is your relationship degrading?

Signs of a broken relationship:
- stagnation, burnout, boredom: you do not develop yourself, almost do not communicate with a partner;
- deceived expectations, suffering from past sensations, endorphin starvation;
- pressure on a partner, abuse, violence;
- feeling of "groundhog day", monotony of relations;
- the desire to find fresh impressions in adultery;
- the lack of a movement vector, an understanding of why all this is, meaninglessness and emptiness.

If you find these signs in your relationship, you need to contact a psychologist. You can just leave your partner, but it is important to understand that in a new relationship you will again bypass all the described stages and get stuck on the same life lessons you have not completed - this is inevitable.

How can relationships be developed?
You can compare the development of relationships with the growing up of a child: mom never gets bored with him, because he changes all the time. I just learned to crawl - I already need to master the steps. I was only able to confidently walk without help - it's time to learn words and sounds. It is the same in a couple: as soon as one period passes, the second begins, and therefore the couple always faces new challenges. If you are stuck at one of the stages for too long, there is a feeling of "sticking", then it makes sense to resort to family or individual psychotherapy.