WHEN JEALY IS NECESSARY
Indeed, everything is good in moderation. Jealousy in moderate doses gives tone, brings the necessary adrenaline into the relationship. A man is by nature a conqueror, a revolutionary, and to some extent he must have a developed sense of ownership. Therefore, when his partner tries to please others, it “spurs” him on and he does not switch to another woman, but wins one all the time. After all, if other men look at his woman, then he chose one of the best. And this "bonfire" of love relationships must be constantly maintained, otherwise you can completely lose interest in each other.
WHAT IS THE PARADOX OF PASSION?
Another thing is when this sense of ownership begins to take pathological forms. A man believes that his partner should always be near him, controls her every step, checks the phone book. He can call her every ten minutes to check on what she's up to. If she is even a little late at work, does not answer the phone, he begins to have a strong panic. In psychology, this behavior is called the "paradox of passion" - when a person who is jealous has no boundaries of his "I", he does not realize himself, he simply dissolves in his partner. Gradually, his partner loses interest in him, and instead of getting closer, she begins to move away even further: spend more time with her friends, stay late at work. Naturally, such relationships do not end well.
HUSBAND AND WIFE, ONE OF SATAN
In the first place, a jealous person usually has the fear of losing a partner, whom he used to consider his property. Constantly haunting her with his suspicions, he deprives her of her freedom. However, it often turns out that a woman herself wants to be treated that way. She likes that her beloved man constantly controls her, is jealous of everyone, makes scandals.
And they both get along well with each other: he needs a certain amount of provocation to get an adrenaline rush, and she likes to bring him to such a state. Although both she and he are hysteroid personalities who compensate for their complexes at the expense of each other. After all, a mature person with normal self-esteem usually does not have such “attacks” of jealousy. By the way, jealous people are very often found among famous, rich people, outwardly very bright, self-sufficient, hypersexual. The man achieved everything he wanted, but he did not get rid of fears and complexes. Therefore, the feeling of ownership is manifested in him much stronger than in an ordinary person with an average income.
SILENCE IS NOT AN EXIT
In fact, jealousy cannot be blamed only on the one who is jealous. Both partners are always to blame for this. Indeed, often a woman who left one man because he became very jealous of her finds another with whom the same story turns out. And therefore, if jealousy has not yet taken pathological forms, and you want to maintain a relationship, do not give up, there is always the opportunity to negotiate. Often even the closest people behave as if from different planets. It must be remembered that one situation will cause completely different emotions in different people. For example, a woman, in addition to spending time with a partner, sometimes prefers to go somewhere with a friend, let's say a nightclub. And she will not be offended by a loved one if he behaves the same way. And this behavior of hers annoys him, but he restrains himself and remains silent. She sees that he does not like something, but also prefers to remain silent. But if people love each other, they should by no means let everything take its course. There should always be a “negotiating table”, you need to calmly discuss the relationship, ask your loved one: “what do you feel if I behave this way? Are you satisfied with everything?" Perhaps he just does not want to show his jealousy or resentment.
OR ME OR SHE
In a woman, jealousy manifests itself more often against the background of emotionality, vulnerability, low self-esteem, usually when a man has already had a mistress. In most cases, this happens when the spouses have been married for several years, have children, and then she suddenly finds out that he has love on the side. Many women, trying to save their families, endure such a situation, try not to pay attention to the "adventures" of their husband, or hope that he will think of a divorce himself. In fact, it's not worth the hassle. It is better to put the question directly:
"Let's decide - either you choose her and we disperse, or you stay in the family." A man will never go for a divorce on his own. Most representatives of the stronger sex are very afraid of responsibility, and a woman always takes the injured side. In any case, if you are no longer interested in a relationship with this person, you do not need to sacrifice yourself. Trying to save the family, you will destroy it even more.
THE LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND SELF-RESPECT
The same goes for women who say they are "ready to endure anything because they love." Such a woman is calm about the fact that her partner does not allow her to leave the house without his knowledge, checks all her calls, turns out her pockets, controls her every step, although she allows herself complete freedom in relationships. And often a woman lives with him only because of her own low self-esteem, the confidence that "anyway, she won't find anyone better." Nevertheless, it is never too late to break off such relationships, even if they have evolved over the years. Try to increase self-esteem, let go of this person in order to make room for a more worthy one. Do not refill the full bowl. After all, if he no longer listens to what she tells him, then he does not respect her. Why does she need such love?
DON'T FORGET ABOUT JEALY
So, jealousy is useful in minimal quantities. A woman should attract the attention of other men, and a man should attract other women. Jealousy does not give partners the opportunity to cool off towards each other. Love relationships are a fire that needs to be constantly maintained. But at the same time, do not bring each other to neurotic disorders.
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