There is one old and very harmful belief that a man should take the initiative. He must be the first to call, the first to ask for a date, the first to kiss. And so on until the first to propose. Perhaps once upon a time, when women could not vote, did not have the right to inherit and could not leave the house unaccompanied, this had at least some perverse, but meaning. And now such beliefs bring continuous torment.
One of my acquaintances for a year and a half was dying for a peasant, with whom she periodically crossed paths at work. Liked his pictures on social networks and waited for him to understand that she likes him. Did not understand. Then she baked cookies herself and gave him a birthday present after the work meeting. He was very happy, thanked from the bottom of his heart, but did not understand the hint. I suggested to a friend that I invite him over for coffee so that the occasional work meeting would become informal, but she thought he should make the first move. And while the girlfriend was waiting for something, the guy began to happily meet with the other.
Taking initiative is scary. But not only women. And men too. In this regard, it is much more difficult for them, since they decided to shift all responsibility in the relationship to them. But relationships are the story of two people. Shifting all the responsibility to one is a very childish position. Like, I don't want to decide anything, feed me, entertain me, take me to the garden. But why would an adult babysit a big child?
Many women write that if he doesn’t call for a date, then he doesn’t need it. Why humiliate yourself and ask for it? Behind such beliefs lies the fear of being denied. I will call, and he will refuse, because it is obvious that he does not like me. But, firstly, nothing is clear yet. And secondly, learn to already receive refusals. There will be a lot of them in life. No need to get hurt, take everything personally and feel worthless. Rejections are normal. Practice. Write on a dating site to the first 20 men. 10 will refuse, and 10 will start correspondence, and at least a couple of meetings will come out. It's better than nothing at all. But frequent rejections will teach you to treat them calmly. Believe me, even Angelina Jolie is denied. You are not unique here.
A healthy relationship is a relationship between two adults who know how to take responsibility, do not shift the initiative to another and can say what they want, what they like, what they feel. You need to learn this, and not dream about fairy tales that you will sit by the window, resting your chin on your palm, and the prince will see you from the street and immediately fall in love. Happiness comes to those who can take responsibility for their lives.
The rest sit with their convictions and wait for a call from the prince.