You know I joined this site by accident. What a happy accident for me indeed. I have learned to be prudent with my time and resources here but for those of you who are wondering if I am real or if I am an administrator or why I am taking so long to respond, let me assure you I am as real as your and my strong feelings of loneliness and as real as my and your need to share our strong love with the one who will be our soulmate. Let me share some of my thoughts since coming here to this site and receiving and reading hundreds of letters. Please bear in mind these thoughts are born of my experience, they are therefore only my opinion. We must all form our own opinions based on our experience and our own thoughts from our character to guide our choices in life. First I find that if we truly have freedom of choice through our created free will then we therefore have been given a right to choose in our lives what it is we will do; whether good or bad or right or wrong. Our spirit will speak to our minds of what is right and what is wrong; to that voice we must listen as our hearts can sometimes deceive us by what we desire, a quickened spirit will be the voice of reason so for tough decisions much thought should be given and possibly advise should be sought out. Living is making choices so without making the choice we are not living. To choose for yourself something you do not wish to choose but rather what someone else would choose for you is to limit yourself and your life's experience and the development of your character. Good or bad choices teach us, experience teaches us what is possible in our lives and so we must each of us choose for ourselves what we will add to our character, whether it be to own a business, to drive a car, to have a tattoo, to have a child, to have a relationship, to give or take, to be or not to be; none of the results truly take but rather add to our lives and to our characters the experience of life and make us more of who we are. Surely we experience loss but in the end that experience is an addition to our character and our understanding if we choose to accept our experiences and move on to make new choices. Some choices do generate great loss and we may suffer greatly from these losses but ultimately choices that reveal themselves to be mistakes are truly opportunities to learn of life and of our own character and reshape our character with our future choices. So reach out and make the choice to have and do what will make you into you of your future of your choosing. I hope this thought helps for those of you feeling restricted about sending letters or being embarrassed about thoughts and actions of what to do or should or shouldn't do. So feel free to help me to make my choice in love and keep sending me your letters ;D
Of our emotions I have thought a great deal. Some of my thoughts on our negative emotions are strong. Fear, shame, pride, and jealousy. We have many negative emotions but for these I feel compelled to advise us all to avoid them when they are discovered inside us. Fear kills life. It robs us of choice and experience. It compels us to avoid choices and experiences that might teach us more than we know. Fear nothing but be thoughtful of consequences of bad choices. Sometimes fear can be helpful in small doses, like pain is a warning of physical damage so fear can be harnessed to help us to consider choices carefully but be wary that fear in us is more the enemy than the things we think of as being the enemies that generate that fear. Shame is like a form of fear that limits us from making choices by leaving us stuck in the past of our mistakes; or dwelling on the things we do not have instead of being thankful for the things we do have. Leave shame behind and put in its place a lesson for avoiding a particular choice or at least to consider more carefully the consequences of future choices that might seem similar, or at least leave the past behind you and focus on your future choices with thankfulness that we are alive to continue to share life with those around us. Shame can be lessened by sharing with a trusted friend if you cannot release it talk to someone very close who you feel will not judge but who will listen and help you shoulder your hurts. Pride is kin to shame and is close minded thinking. Pride is the chief sin above all sins and ultimately causes destruction. Always seek to turn away from prideful thinking when it is discovered by considering thankfulness and joy of life, as prideful thinking and acting always leads to unhappiness, fights, and destruction. Jealousy is another emotion to be turned from as it only bears fruits of regret, hate, and unhappiness. Replace jealousy with love, patience, understanding, thankfulness, and trust. Curiosity and honesty coupled with patience and trust will often settle concerns of infidelity. For the positive feelings focus on the pleasure and joy this life has to offer and share these 2 with thankfulness and love to grow your harmony with those around you. Some people are too consumed with these other negative emotions to reciprocate but you can love these people anyway and they will either come around eventually or avoid you. Also there is nothing wrong with making a choice to avoid certain people.
Next some thoughts on wealth and materialism. First thoughts of a dowry and for those who have lost this gift. In my culture the gift of a dowry has become obsolete and is no longer thought of by anyone. For those who remain 'old fashioned' and value lasting love and fidelity in a proper relationship the closest thing to a dowry is the pledge and promise to love, cherish, and uplift your chosen lover and wife/husband forever, whether we have good times, bad times, are rich, poor, sick, healthy. No matter what. Have no fear or shame for such things as material gifts or traditions of men when seeking your life long love. About wealth I believe I have learned such important things! True wealth is your time and your freedom, your health. To have wealth is to have love and happiness, to have the time and freedom to enjoy these gifts of life. Wealth can be earned but mostly it is spent in the form of time, that cannot be regained it is always lost so make your life as wealthy as possible by living it! Money is your economic energy stored up in things of value. Rubles and dollars, Euros and Pounds ARE NOT MONEY, they are bank issued and government defended slavery paper designed to limit our perceptions and keep us in debt to a system engineered to make us work for itself. True money is many things that spend in trade for other things we value: Water, food, especially Land, and of course the most time honored form of money is Gold and Silver. Greed and fear have much impact on our economic world. Greed is monetary cancer and we know already fear limits our ability to think logically. Saving in real money value can allow for future joy but spending money now will unlock pleasure and joy for the present. Credit is not money but is debt slavery and steals all forms of wealth out of the future life. Debt should be avoided at all costs no matter what the present gain as the current global economic structure is ripe the worst collapse in human history and poised for the immediate enslavement of all who have debt! Regarding spending and saving balance is key to a happy life with your wealth. Balancing saving and spending can be difficult but adding up earnings and subtracting necessities will leave you with a simple budget for saving and spending, consider carefully to save real money and/or things of value in your own hands rather than to leave currency in corrupt banking institutions which will steal it from you when you are not looking!
Now perhaps for thoughts on a touchy subject! Loyalty, fidelity, and cheating :O Our cultures, whether in the insane western world or in the, apparently to my eyes, more loyal and faithful culture where most women here come from, are being destroyed by the media of yesterday and today. I reviewed a study that was done on children's movies, including Disney, and it was revealed to me how much sex has been and is more continually being fed to our eyes and hearts subliminally to our unconscious and conscious minds for the purpose of breaking down our resistance to temptation and our faithfulness to fine moral concepts of love and loyalty to our spouses. As children our exposure to these messages has corrupted us in ways many of us are not aware of or do not fully understand. I believe strongly in forgiveness and sharing understanding of our emotions but I do not support infidelity or deceit. The very concept that what someone doesn't know won't hurt them is a lie from hell and should be run from when encountered. For an unmarried person this is different but do not be a homewrecker. Sex was created as a gift to be shared by lovers and lovers are meant to be a married couple. Society has degenerated by design and questions of what is right or wrong were once not so misunderstood but have become so because previous generations have been fooled by technology and media feeding us truth mixed with lies, a poison for the minds of our children, for our minds when we were children. Take heed to the thoughts of your parents and grandparents as things were better in those days because our morals were better in those days. My point is that in today's world the temptation for cheating is greater than ever before, it has been bred into our culture for both man and woman; forgiveness can go a long way but choice is key here. Choose to love your mate and be accountable for your feelings. Allow your eyes to accept that the world is filled with beauty but if your heart is tempted run to your lover and embrace and kiss them. The closeness can heal your heart as can sharing your feelings. Also for all of us singles who struggle with such overwhelming sexual feelings and temptations. I appreciate your feelings and your honesty. I am a man, not a heartless robot. Strong sexual feelings are not abnormal nor wrong nor are these feelings truly lust nor something to be ashamed of. To lust is to dwell on your feelings with much time and considered thought. Instead I suggest we all be thankful we have such feelings that someday if we are patient we will find our true love and be able to share this, I think the most awesome gift, with the one who completes us. Some last thoughts on sexual feelings before I close. Recently it has been written to me words to the effect that a woman is made to please a man or give to him sexual pleasure. My opinion would have been the opposite really I rather tended to think from my experience that a woman was created to give love to a man, and a man has the gift of a woman to show her his love for her by giving her pleasure. I do believe that a woman's gift for herself is that she can receive more pleasure than a man can, the unfortunate converse of this is that she can also receive more pain. But after comparing thinking on these things recently I believe when it comes to sexuality and love we are equally weighted for each other so that a proper man strongly desires more to give to his mate pleasure for her and a woman desires more to give to her chosen man pleasure for him. I would tend to advise for a woman to take all the pleasure her man can give her for a man this will excite him to see that you are pleased. Life is so short enjoy all that you can of this gift for yourself of what your man can give to you. There is nothing else like it on this earth.
In closing I want to thank you for writing me letters. Please be patient with me, I am a man of modest means. I live in the Canadian province of Nova Scotia and I am approximately 4,700 miles / 7,700 Kilometers away or more! There is a difference of 6 hours in our time zones so when you start your evening I am not yet having lunch at my work and as I return from work most of you should be in bed; at your lunch time I will definitely be asleep at 6 AM for me; and when I am up late writing my thoughts or reading your letters, as I now often do so late and at 3AM tonight Sunday night (rather Monday morning I don't work this Monday Dec. 15 or I would have closed my eyes usually by now) most of you are probably just getting up as I am just going to sleep! I have been asked of my thoughts about my perfect match, about beauty, and of my favorite things. I believe perfection is the same as beauty so that any form of beauty or any measure of perfection is in the eye of the beholder. Friendship is also, in my opinion, in the eye of the beholder. I like all experiences in life especially those that make me feel alive; sometimes breathing, seeing, feeling; all the joyful and pleasurable emotions, whether my laughter or sharing excitement of others, opportunities to share pain and through the sharing to lessen it. Sometimes I enjoy doing, sometimes thinking. Mostly in what remains of my youth I enjoy excitement and I can create it in most of my experiences but there are some activities that more easily generate excitement. I like Winter because I am always hot and I like to be cool! In my aging years I hope to enjoy most peace and love. Finally of religion and spirituality. Religion is becoming corrupted and has been used for centuries to control people. Spirituality is recommended as we are all spiritual beings. For me faith is the most important and I believe that only grace from God given to us through our faith in his Son will save us. Above all avoid pride for we are all only human, give love and you will get it, and have faith that Jesus is real to gain peace and salvation, and through all things in life be patient because you will end up where you belong.
Sincerely,
Alan a.k.a. Coolcat