Love is the basis of a happy marriage, a happy family, so many people thought and think. And this idea is very logical, because love is the main reason for marriage. But, in most cases, love is the basis of a happy marriage only in the first years of life together.
The fate of modern marriage, perhaps, depends not on the feeling that caused the marriage, but on their mental traits: kind or unkind, caring or rude, attentive or indifferent, etc.
Therefore, the basis of modern marriage can be a broad compatibility of husband and wife. Compatibility of mental traits, compatibility of interests, compatibility of hobbies, compatibility of religious, moral, spiritual qualities, compatibility of characters and temperaments, sexual compatibility. The more compatibility a woman has with her husband in the family, the easier they are with each other, the happier their marriage and the happier the family.
Perhaps the most successful compatibility of spouses in marriage combines three foundations of a happy marriage:
The first foundation of a happy marriage is spiritual affinity, at least in some major points.
The second basis of a happy marriage is similar interests in life, hobbies, ideals. Also, at least in something important.
The third basis of a happy marriage is the difference in psychology, in temperament.
Moreover, psychological compatibility is based on the harmony of contrasts, on the attraction of polar temperaments. For example, an explosive and sharp choleric can get along well with a slow and balanced phlegmatic. The choleric has a lightning reaction and violent feelings, and the phlegmatic is deprived of this and subconsciously can be attracted to these features of the choleric. And choleric attracts calmness and prudence of phlegmatic, which he does not have.
At the same time, both can be dissatisfied with the same features of each other in some issues and situations. And in order to fully get along with each other, their difference in temperament should be complemented by the compatibility of some other mental traits, interests, hobbies and views.
But do not think that a happy marriage and a happy family can be created by spouses only if they are fully compatible. Very often it happens that people are not compatible in all respects, but this is enough for them. That part of the whole range of compatibility that they have is quite a sufficient basis for their happy marriage and family happiness. They just understand the unpleasant features of the other person and respect their right to independence. And this tolerance to the shortcomings of the partner and respect for him as an independent person is one of the main threads of compatibility. And no doubt, it helps to strengthen the foundation of their marriage and make a happy marriage and a happy family.