1. Every minute remember what the purpose of your relationship with a man is.
For normal people, the goal of a relationship is to provide maximum comfort for a long time, that is, to make yourself and your partner happy. So repeat this to yourself every time you feel the urge to teach, heal, criticize your boyfriend, take it out on him during PMS, become violently jealous, inquire about his leisure time, express an opinion about his friends, argue about politics, religion and the color of his pants. Is your rightness or interest in a particular situation worth the peace and joy that you deprive your partner of? At therapy sessions, I listen to a couple and each separately, and so, without going into anti-ethical specifics, but in accordance with the spirit of freedom, I can say: about two-thirds of the sources of conflict are described by the scheme “a woman came up with a problem out of the blue and inflated the peasant’s lack of reaction to it to proportions tragedy."

2. Praise him
If he is not worthy of praise and does everything wrong, what the hell are you doing next to this loser? Leave, do not prolong the agony for each other, see point 1. Do not be a grumpy mother, a strict boss, a capricious daughter for him - take only positive components from all these incarnations: constant but unobtrusive care, interest in his growth, admiration for him steepness. Many in childhood heard the expression “overpraised - spoiled”, and so this is a myth, it is impossible to overpraise an adult sane person, he has a self-esteem bar. And to praise does not mean to flatter, it means to look at him with a desire to see the good. Praise is pleasant to everyone, if you don’t take it into service, there will be smarter people with whom he will begin to communicate.
3. Don't humiliate him or make a fuss in public
Showdown in public places is taboo, because the public image of a respectable and reliable man is much more important than for a woman who, under the current social order, can still afford to be a beautiful, frivolous empty shell. When the “half”, the most trusted person, begins to undermine the authority of a man in front of his friends, colleagues or the crowd in the subway, this is perceived as a knife in the back. This is often forgiven, but never forgotten. Making a man lose face is one of the biggest strategic miscalculations a woman has in a relationship. It will come back to haunt you, no doubt. So wait home with your complaints, at the same time you will cool down, comprehend them, see paragraph 1.

4. Do not use diminutives in references to him
Vitenka, chick, kitten, hare, masya and paw - this is not what your boyfriend sees himself in his dreams. It's as if he started calling you "mother", "girlfriend", "Private Jane", "super boobs" or "Miss Blowjob 2013". Represented? Forget about diminutive suffixes forever, save caress for especially successful sex.

5. Support his endeavors, even the most idiotic ones.
When he takes your wedding rings away to play some more slot machines, that's one thing. When he is fond of ice fishing, playing the trombone, cross-stitching, biathlon, collecting garden gnomes, selling adjika of his own roll over the Internet - this is completely different. The desire to meet new initiatives with hostility is inherent in the nature of every person, because any system strives to maintain balance, but here you have to be smarter than nature. Start with a realistic assessment of the maximum possible damage to you personally and to the well-being of the whole family. Do you feel sorry for a couple of thousand dollars for the happiness of a loved one with fish, and after that you are surprised how fiercely he hates your trips to shoe stores? Well, the gnomes cluttered up the hallway and two balconies, and is it really so terrible? And again: do not appreciate and support you - someone else will do it, and in this moment you will move away.

6. The most stunning view is for him, not for meeting classmates.
The syndrome of the victorious hunter, losing interest in the caught game, is characteristic of women no less than men. The fact that you tie him into cohabitation or tied the knot does not mean that now he is forever in love with you. Yes, it's vulgar and mean and trite, but about half of my male patients complained about the fact that the girl neglected her appearance after the relationship entered a stable track. If he was carried away by a physicist with gray hair, in a brown checkered waistcoat and worn-out boots, he knew what he was getting into. But since in the wedding photos you are a blonde in curls and roses, and now you have a short haircut in a comfortable jumpsuit, then do not blame me if you are no longer perceived as an attractive female. Especially when you put on make-up for corporate parties and buy a new dress, and at home go a la naturel in the same delicate pastel things (which the male eye perceives as faded and asexual). It's very simple, but women don't stop making this mistake. You are not required to love the way you are (and you are not required to love a priori at all, see paragraph 1).

7. He's in charge, period
Seriously, it's so convenient. The main problem of feminists is trying, figuratively speaking, to unload the cars when you can dance instead. Whether by evolution, social attitudes or upbringing in most families, but a man is grown up for the role of a problem solver, leader, captain, and so on. It doesn't humiliate you in any way unless you decide that you want to be humiliated. One girl perceives the given hand when leaving the bus as gallantry, the other as a hint of her inability to jump over a puddle due to the physical weakness of her short legs. It is clear which of them enjoys communicating with the opposite sex, and which suffers from the oppression of chauvinists. And it's up to you to decide which girl to be. Give him the joy of being strong, acting, thinking and playing first violin. Let the man lead and the dance will work. Even if he is not always right, you can then quietly correct the situation: even when you actually do the lion's share, if you love your partner, imitating the picture "you are my hero, I'm just in the wings" will not be difficult. Realize your will to power elsewhere. For example, with gays, they don't care.

8. Talk about important things directly, without hints.
Men understand hints, but more often they are hints from other men or those hints that are beneficial for them to understand. It is not customary for them (except perhaps the Japanese) to talk about the essence of the matter in Aesopian language. When your husband wants to sell a batch of motorcycles to a client, he says: “We have a well-known brand, the warranty period is average for the market, and for wholesale we will give you 7% off,” and not: “Autumn leaf withered on a lonely elm that grew sadly on a hill , and it's time to harness the iron horse to a reasonable creature and these places to run to the south as soon as possible. Therefore, state simply, but not globally, do not “say it straight, youfell out of love with me, right? ”, And“ I’m tired of collecting your worms for ice fishing around the house, that’s not what my mother raised me for, hire a housekeeper.

9. Don't put him at the center of your universe and don't demand that he put you at the center of his
I do not mean sincere concern for each other's needs and not the depth of love, but the demands for attention to detail. Half-hour conversations on the phone and VKontakte five times a day about anything annoy almost any man. The psychological dependence on his opinion flatters him, but also irritates him. Therefore, do not try to officially dedicate your life to him, this is very scary, and reproaches for inattention, combined with empty emotional manifestations, will tire him very quickly, and you will be left crying and exclaiming “ungrateful, I gave him all of myself.” You don't even need yourself, let's be honest. And it is clearly reasonable for him to offer the most delicious parts.

10. Learn to cook deliciously
And cook. This is not discussed. The equivalent of "she doesn't cook" for your understanding is "he brings less money into the house than she does." Well, we have equality, is that what you wanted?”