1. Stay positive
Life gives us exactly what we are concentrating on at the moment. Pregnant women look around and are amazed at how many of their equally pregnant associates have divorced. Those dreaming of a particular brand of car are starting to see these cars on the streets day after day.

In fact, of course, there were no more pregnant women or cars. It’s just that our brain, focused on its own, filters the surrounding reality and lights a signal lamp: “Here, look, urgently pay attention!” - when he sees an object corresponding to the topic of his thoughts. Psychologists call this the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon.
The conclusion is simple. The more bad you expect, the more you will get.

It will climb literally from all the cracks, driving you deeper and deeper into depression. And vice versa: thinking about the good, believing in the best, you change the settings of your own brain - and it is the good that is in the focus of your attention. Let an optimistic attitude not solve all your problems, but the world around you will become much brighter.

2. Make lemonade out of lemons
Sounds like a broken record, but it often works. Yes, there are situations in which we really cannot change anything. However, there are others when it is enough to take a step back or to the side in order to look at the problem with a fresh look, connect a little creativity - and voila, an elegant and profitable solution will be found. And not at all where you initially expected. A classic example of this approach is the story of William Wrigley, the man and the chewing gum.

In the 90s of the 19th century, the company he created unsuccessfully tried to enter the market by selling household items - soap and baking powder. Things were going so-so, and in order to at least somehow stand out from the competition, Wrigley came up with the idea of attaching a penny piece of chewing gum to each pack of baking powder.

Alas, the company continued to work at zero, or even at a loss, clouds were gathering over the business, and Wrigley was already ready to accept the fact that he would not work as a businessman. However, at some point, an unfortunate entrepreneur noticed that people sometimes buy baking powder for future use only in order to get a package of chewing gum along with it. Archimedes would have exclaimed in his place: "Eureka!"

Wrigley, on the other hand, limited himself to completely reorienting the business to the production and sale of chewing gum, which before him was not considered any promising product. The result of this creativity and the success that followed it is chewed by the whole world (literally) to this day.

3. Learn from your mistakes
What exactly has driven you into a stalemate? Analyzing all the circumstances can be painful, but extremely rewarding. Break down the events that preceded the worsening of things: what went wrong, where you made a mistake, what could have happened if you had acted differently ... As a result, you will get a fairly clear idea of ​​how you could have avoided the onset of a black streak . Going through difficult times is much easier if you know that the chances of them repeating tend to zero.

4. Change what you can change
Having calculated the mistakes and miscalculations that led you to a difficult situation, try to correct them. If something cannot be corrected right now, just pay attention to this circumstance to correct it as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

5. Be grateful
And lives - for the experience provided to you, and to the people who surround you. Think about this or that close person: what he brings into your life, what he teaches, what he lends his shoulder to, how you would live without his support.

Write a short (or long, depending on your mood) letter explaining why you are so grateful for life for having this person in it. Then call him or her and read your creation. The difficulties that you are experiencing at a particular moment will begin to seem less significant when compared with the real values \u200b\u200bthat you have in your life.

6. Focus on what you can control
Perhaps you have made many unsuccessful attempts to correct the situation. So much so that you give up and you no longer believe that you can change anything.

Finding what is still in your power and focusing your attention on it is one of the most effective ways to deal with learned helplessness (this is the name of the state that you are currently experiencing).

Yes, you can't improve your business globally, but can you brush your teeth? Go and clean. Can you start running in the morning? Run.

The more things in your life that you can control and manage, the faster your self-confidence will return. And along with it - the will to overcome difficulties.

7. Praise yourself for the past and experienced
Sometimes we are so focused on the present moment that we don't look back. The darkness around seems hopeless. However, it is important to look back sometimes to appreciate how far you have come, how you have changed, what you have gained and what you have left behind. When you see what exactly you have already managed to overcome, the light at the end of the tunnel will become much brighter.

8. Surround yourself with people who understand you.
Surrounding yourself with loved ones is one of the most important things you can do when you find yourself in a difficult situation. You need their love so that you have something to compare with what is happening around you. You need to take care of them in order to feel significant. You need their honesty to hear the truth and advice from those you truly trust. It is important for you to understand and accept you as you are, so as not to lose faith in yourself.

If there are no such people near you for some reason, find a community whose members have already gone through or are going through what you are currently experiencing. From them you will receive both the necessary support and experience that will allow you to overcome difficulties.

9. Learn to forgive and let go
It happens that difficult times have a specific culprit. “If not for him, everything would have gone according to plan!” - you think and exhaust yourself with hatred for this person. This reaction is natural but destructive: you focus on negative experiences instead of looking for ways out.

Yes, let the person really be to blame, but ... You won’t be angry at the rain, because of which you got wet to the skin? Or seek revenge on the gust of wind that broke your umbrella? No, you will do your best to get home as soon as possible and make yourself hot tea, and then fix your umbrella or buy a new one. So here. The culprit is the “element”, which is important to leave behind as soon as possible, focusing on more significant things.

10. Don't blame yourself
Once again, we all have hard times. It's not you who are bad or improvident, it's just a black streak that is an integral part of life. Every life. Of course, different people have difficulties in their own way. You got this option. Take it as a test that is important to pass with honor, and not as proof of how bad you are.

Even the worst enemy will not be able to harm you like your own unrestrained thoughts.

Buddha
11. Enjoy the simple things
One of the hardest tests that hard times bring us is the decrease in the level of comfort. When you are doing well, you can find joy in dining at popular restaurants, traveling, hiring a housekeeper to make life easier, buying expensive things. When things start to go downhill, there's a lot to give up, and that's sad.

Meanwhile, thTo enjoy life, sometimes very simple things are enough. Instead of dining at a restaurant, find some interesting recipe and cook an original (albeit inexpensive) meal with your loved ones. Instead of traveling around Europe, get into the habit of cycling and exploring on Saturdays. Minimalism is in fashion these days. Experience it for yourself now. When else will there be such a chance, right?

12. Redefine your values and priorities
Failures give you a chance to revise your life values, which you didn’t even think about on well-fed and calm days. Look inside yourself, look around: what is really important to you? To what extent do your dreams, hopes, aspirations correspond to what is truly significant for you? What can you give up without much worries? Losing what will break your heart? Reprioritization is often the decisive step to overcome a losing streak.

13. Cultivate patience
In childhood and adolescence, it sometimes seems to us that we can get everything at once. And only with age comes the understanding that we cannot control time. No matter how strong our time management skills are, there are things for which "the hour has not yet come." A flower won't bloom in February, a baby won't be born right after a kiss, a big secure house won't be built in a day. If you want something of value, you'll have to wait. It is important to understand and accept this.

You can have everything. Just not all at once.

Oprah Winfrey
14. Remember: you always have a choice
Although many things in the world are beyond our control, we can still choose. The choice is how we look at these things, how we react to them, what actions we take, how we let circumstances define who we are. Who are you here and now? Choose. Your turn.

15. Take care of yourself
Many omit this point, either entangled in self-accusations, or working up to the tenth sweat, or simply postponing until better times. Meanwhile, in order to survive in difficult hours, you need to take care of yourself. What if tomorrow you are incapacitated by overwork or clinical depression? So please yourself no matter what.

Coffee in a cozy cafe. A walk in the park. New book. Buying beautiful clothes or accessories - let it be a mere trifle, but it will give you a piece of joy! Let yourself sleep, eventually. We are for ourselves the most important and most effective support in difficult times. You can't lose her.