Reason #1: Get Married / Be in a Relationship for the Right Reasons
Many of those who have already divorced and remarried explain that first marriages ended in divorce because they were entered into for the wrong reasons. They can be very different: pressure from relatives and friends; the feeling that it is time for you to settle down; the desire to be a beautiful couple, because you look good together; a naive thought, as if with a sweet paradise and in a hut ... All this seems logical. But it only seems, because there can be only one reason for marriage: you should just want to be close to this person - that's what people with experience say.

The only thing that really works is sincere admiration for each other. But, as is often the case, getting married so that someone makes you happy is straight forward to codependency. And this has never been good for anyone.

Reason #2: Don't have false hopes
Often, lovers, when they get married, think that they will always keep their feelings sharp, and when the intensity of emotions subsides, they think that the family is falling apart. Love is a strange thing. When the head is spinning, we are ready to forgive the partner for any mistakes and turn a blind eye to shortcomings. But it will not last forever, at most - a few years. And then the puppy delight with which we look into the eyes of a loved one disappears. And as soon as the thrill of love passes, there is no need to think that love has passed and you are on the verge of divorce. You just need to learn to love a person as he is, respect him and be glad that he is around.

True love is a choice: to be with a person, despite the circumstances, despite the fact that he does not always make you happy. It's difficult, but it's also valuable.

Reason #3: The most important thing in a relationship is respect.
People who have been married for 10-15 years most often say that the most important thing for a strong relationship is to communicate with each other and talk frankly about everything that matters. However, those who have 20, 30, 40 years of marriage behind them say that the most important thing is respect for each other.The fact is that conflicts in couples are inevitable, and we will hurt each other's feelings, no matter how much we want to avoid it. And the only thing that will help you stay together is mutual respect, the feeling that you value each other above all else, trust each other and trust that your partner will do what is best for both of you. Just do not forget that you also need to respect yourself. Both you and the other half.

Reason #4: Be Frank About Everything
And yet you need to talk, especially about what hurts you. If something doesn't suit you in a relationship, you should definitely say it: when we talk frankly, it creates a sense of trust, which creates intimacy. It can be painful, but you still need to do it, because no one will fix your relationship but you.

Trust is also needed in order to cope with such an unpleasant feeling as jealousy. We all need to understand that a partner may have other interests, they can communicate with other people, and it is not worth getting angry when you see that they are talking to someone else.

Reason #5 Healthy Relationships Happen to Healthy Individuals
In any marriage, something has to be sacrificed for the sake of the other person. But the problem is that if the relationship is maintained only because someone gives up their interests for the sake of another, sooner or later it will end in a break. A relationship based on sacrifice is doomed.

Healthy happy relationships can only be maintained by healthy happy individuals. The key word is "personality". This means that people should have their own ideas about themselves, personal interests, their own hobbies to which they devote time.

Reason number 6. Leave free space for each other
One of the most important things in a relationship is not to completely merge with each other. The secret of success is different bank accounts, different credit cards, different friends and hobbies. Even holidays can be spent separately. Some of those who have given advice to newlyweds even suggest using separate bathrooms and toilets.
It sounds strange - indeed, many are afraid to let go of their partner and give him freedom. And all because people lack trust - they are not confident in themselves and their relationships. It often seems to us that if we let a loved one go somewhere on their own, it will turn out that he no longer needs us. Unfortunately, the inability to let go of a partner means that we do not respect him. And this means that we do not respect ourselves. After all, is it really possible to seriously think that a wife or husband will be taken away from us at a corporate party?

Reason #7: Be prepared to change.
When people have been married for more than 20 years, they may discover how much they have changed from what they were two decades ago. Be prepared for the fact that in 20 years you will wake up and find that the person who lies next to you is not at all the same as before, and here you will need to learn to love him.
Of course, this will happen if you allow your other half to be yourself, mind your own business and develop in your own direction - and you yourself will do it too. But when you change, do not forget to discuss what is happening to you - then you will be able to both respect and accept each other.

Reason #8
We already know that quarrels in a couple are inevitable, but you need to sort things out correctly. There are a few rules that must not be broken. First of all, you can not criticize the personal qualities of a partner: no “you are dumb / dumb” - only “you are doing stupid things”. You should not take a defensive position in the conflict, like “I would not have done/did it if you hadn’t…”. It is forbidden to impose a feeling of guilt on a partner. And, of course, you can’t refuse if a loved one wants to speak out: running away from a quarrel with the words “that’s it, I’m not going to discuss it” is the right way to break off relations.
Reason #9: Master the Art of Forgiving
It's hard to believe, but even in the strongest families there are insoluble contradictions. There are problems about which we will never agree with each other, and the only way out in this case is to come to terms with it. And it is also a matter of respect for each other.
Reason #10. Allow yourself small pleasures.
Going to the movies together, having lunch together during working hours, going out on weekends - these are seemingly small things, but they are what make you a family. If you devote all your time only to the joint arrangement of life, go to hypermarkets for shopping on weekends, and discuss bills and payments at dinner, sooner or later you will turn from spouses into neighbors.

Pay attention to the little things: holding hands at the movies, saying “I love you” to each other before bed, remembering to close the tube of toothpaste or throwing things around if your partner is annoyed - all this will help you once again emphasize what you value and respect him.

conclusions
1. Long-term stable relationships are work. It’s not that we don’t know this, but when you are in love and think that you will spend your whole life with this person, you somehow can’t believe that sooner or later the sharpness of feelings will go away and you will find yourself face to face with a real person: with your interests and hobbies.
2. A family will always stay strong if you give each other the right to be themselves, including spending time with your friends, having personal hobbies and your own political views.
3. The most important thing in a relationship is respect and trust in each other. These things, of course, are interconnected - one cannot exist without the other. Know how to let go of your partner: do not cling to him with a stranglehold. You do not want the person with you to be so stuffy that he leaves?