1. Correct pauses - the law of conservation of interest in relationships
Trust, complete immersion in each other and unity with a partner is a cool and important thing, and there is no relationship without it. To achieve it, we adapt to each other in gestures, in words, in rhythm and outlook on life, in domestic and sexual issues. So we create a kind of cozy emotional-physical wigwam, to which we want to return.

Someone does it consciously, someone intuitively, but the result is always the same: a state of harmony.

It is at this moment of perfectly tuned resonance that it is especially easy to lose the sense of proportion and forget that the continuation of virtues has always been and will be flaws. Comfort, for example, transforms into convenience, and convenience continues in the quagmire, which, as we know, sucks and poisons. In it, the sharpness of feelings decreases, and the value of the partner decreases, no matter how beautiful he may be.

How often do we appreciate, say, our hand? She is an extension of us, and admiring what is with us constantly requires concentration and mental effort. Instead of trying to consider the dignity of a person, burying his nose in him, it is much more useful to move away from him at least a few steps and look around.

This is what the detuning is used for, which is literally a temporarily interrupted rapport.

In a practical sense, "rebuild" means:
go somewhere without a partner and not be in constant contact with him/her (business trip, vacation);
“withdraw into yourself”, communicate and interact less;
sleep in different rooms for a while;
stop hugging or kissing him/her for a while;
not prepare food for him/her, and so on.
It is necessary to turn off the tap for supplying the usual joys and move to a visible distance. If rapport with a partner is really established, there is nothing to be afraid of - adjustment will only enrich and strengthen your relationship. If the rapport was present only in your imagination, then at least the alignment will open your eyes to this.

By rebuilding, we give the partner the opportunity to fall in love with us again. But only those who love and respect themselves first of all are capable of this. If you do not move away from your partner, fearing that he/she will immediately forget about you, then most likely this person does not remember you anyway.
2. The meaning of what we say or do to a person is always in his reaction to it
There are hundreds of ways to convey a single thought, and only a few of them will lead us to the desired result. The problem is that people themselves are not always aware of what, in fact, the worst result they expect in response to their words or actions.

Of course, behind every our action and word there is always some positive (for ourselves) intention. But whatever we intend for ourselves there, it will not work if:

this intention is not realized
implementation method chosen at random
Example: A woman calls her partner a loser from time to time. By this, she can pursue different goals: to motivate, point out mistakes, humiliate him in order to increase her significance in his eyes. But already a few attempts will be enough to understand whether this “approach” works. Some men will start up in response to this and even begin to do something; someone will make a scandal or even slam the door; others will withdraw into themselves, become repressed.

And here the only correct decision for a woman (besides the decision to stop calling names) is to turn on sensitivity to this feedback, draw conclusions about the efficiency of the chosen method and, if “the skis do not go”, find another way to achieve the goal.

Not doing this is like giving a person a gift, guided by what the giver himself would like to receive, and then getting offended when he learns that this gift has never been used.

If you have the flexibility to implement this approach in your life, then you can expect stunning results. It's like punching a hole into another room with your head all your life, and then suddenly find the key to the doors - the real Eureka!
3. The Roles We Play Determine Our Relationships
What role the person next to you will take is up to you. By your role.

In short, role rapport and simple logic argue that we simply will not find ourselves in a relationship with a person whose life and relational roles do not “fit in” with ours at all. After all, everything in the world is dual: the narrator is useless without a listener, the writer is made so by the reader, and the tyrant does not exist without a victim. The same principle is responsible for our love relationships.
There are no right and wrong roles, there are those that either bring happiness to both or take it away. The question of change arises point-blank (if you're lucky) when one or both "components" in it are unhappy. And this is where you have to do something. Starting, of course, with yourself.

You need to understand this: we will not receive from a partner what we ourselves have not previously requested with our behavior and words.

A lover (nice) to be disappointed in people and to say “so I thought (a)!” can stop luring those who bring continuous disappointment. A pathological commander can cede the right to vote to other people, which will stop attracting weak victims to him.

In this case, there are 2 scenarios:

Transforming the old system (relationships) by adjusting to the new you
The collapse of the old system and the construction of a new one more suitable for you
It is important to understand that by changing our “shape” we stop fitting into the old picture and start “pushing” neighboring puzzles with our new bulges, creating an empty gap by removing something. And whether the “neighboring puzzle” will agree to change its form in order to complete the new us and create a new picture with us depends on the strength of these relations.

For example, if a woman whose relationship with a man was 50% based on her imperious nature and the soft compliance of her partner suddenly realizes that she is no longer satisfied with this game, then it is not at all a fact that the man will agree with this. Entering into these relationships, he accepted the old rules of the game, and he may not want new ones or simply not pull.

Therefore, when changing ourselves, we must always remember that at some point our old relationships may simply cease to suit us .... Like the clothes we grew out of. And then you just need to let them go, making room for a more suitable puzzle for you.

Of course, all this is just the tip of the iceberg. But it may be enough for those who are open to information and, more importantly, ready to apply it and see the results.

For those who need more information, practices and fundamental study of the sphere of relationships, you can always dig deeper by watching the source or other video courses on the topic of relationships.