Often you can hear something in the spirit from friends: “You just recently met that you are so worried? Give him/her time, look what will happen next. " These are harmful advice, ”says the psychiatrist and neurophysiologist Amir Levin.

Based on research results and experience with patients, Levin claims: according to how the partner relates to you at the beginning of the relationship, you can largely predict his behavior in the future.

He identified five basic qualities that form the foundation of any strong and happy relationships: constancy, accessibility, reliability, responsiveness and predictability.

All of them are closely connected with each other and clearly contradict the popular (and erroneous) ideas about what we need to portray mysterious and inaccessible to attract the attention of a partner.

“This contradicts all the common ideas about how we should behave in a relationship and what should be sought in a partner. Usually people try to find a partner with the same interests and similar education. But in my practice, I found that in many pairs, partners seemed to have nothing in common - for example, they have opposite political views. But at the same time, they get along well, get along very well and care very much about each other - since both have the very five qualities, ”.

If you know what to pay attention to from the very beginning of the new novel, you can better “score off” the inappropriate partners, preserving the mental strength for those who really suit you.
Five qualities are directly related to the types of attachment. Your type of attachment determines how your relationship is built with loved ones. There are three types of attachment - reliable, anxious and avoiding. They differ in how comfortable proximity to another is for a person and how worried about relations with him.

A reliable type of attachment: they usually relate to loved ones with warmth and love, emotional closeness is comfortable for them, and they do not worry too much about the state of the relationship.

Anxious type of attachment: they crave emotional closeness, but constantly need support and calm. They are extremely sensitive to any potential threats to relationships and may seem too intrusive partners.

Avoiding type of attachment: emotional closeness is unpleasant for them, and in relationships they keep distant. They value their independence so much that any support on a partner may seem to them a sign of weakness.
Relations with a person who is characterized by a reliable type of attachment can help you become more confident
If the person with whom you started dating demonstrates the very five qualities - calls when he promised, directly and without abyss says that he likes you, does not cancel and does not tolerate the appointed dates - most likely he is characterized by a reliable type of affection.

It is such people who are best treated by their partners, and they themselves are much more likely to be satisfied with relations.

“When my client begins to meet with a person with a reliable type of attachment, everything is very simple for them. They never have to guess when the next date will occur. They always know what is happening in a relationship ",

Relations with a person who is characterized by a reliable type of attachment can help you become more confident and less worried.

“In such a relationship, as if there is always a coach that sees potential problems in advance and teaches a partner to be more confident”Even before the first meeting, you can evaluate whether your new acquaintance has these five qualities.

Suppose you found someone in the dating application. You are trying to agree on a meeting, and your new acquaintance or acquaintance is not ready to say anything definite. In such a situation, conduct a “test for five qualities”.

“You can say: I have a lot of things, but I would like to meet, I am free (on) on Tuesday or Thursday next week. If this does not suit you, offer your own option, but let's already agree on the time, ”the psychologist advises.

By his or her reaction, you can understand a lot about what partner this person will be for you. “You clearly made it clear what you expect. And the reaction of the interlocutor will tell a lot about him