Psychology professor John Gottman has watched more than 3,000 couples in his 40 years of practice. He came to the conclusion that the main problem in marriage is distrust. In most cases, the cause of conflicts between lovers is precisely the lack of trust in each other.

Trust in a couple is a feeling of complete calm, open relationships that are built on confidence in the honesty and decency of the other person towards you.

At the very beginning of a relationship, namely during the period of falling in love, initial trust is established. Unfortunately, it cannot last forever, and as soon as doubt appears in relation to your partner, trust dies. The reason for this is the desire of a man and a woman to seem better at the beginning of building a relationship. Over time, as relationships become habitual and lose their original novelty, we become ourselves. We begin to study the partner, find out how trustworthy he is and look for all the pitfalls. At the same time, all our previous experience of building relationships comes to the surface, which largely explains the perception of a partner at this stage of the relationship.

The period of knowing each other and accepting a partner with all his experiences and lived experience is a very important period for your further joint future. Therefore, despite the fact that past experiences interfere with each person, it is important to remember that without some risk, a fulfilling life and healthy relationships are impossible.
How to learn to trust each other and build harmonious relationships?

Personal space. Complete trust can only be built in an environment of complete security. If you swear, humiliate each other verbally or physically, you create an unsafe environment for life and a lot of problems that lead to the destruction of relationships. Also pay special attention to your desire to constantly control your partner - this is also your distrust. Do not obsess over your partner, do not control his life - live yours. Constant attempts to control only push you away from each other and destroy trust.

Therefore, if your partner wants to spend time with friends, learn to accept his desires and respond calmly to them. Remember that you can always calmly discuss what is unacceptable for you. For example, when a partner says that he wants to go to a nightclub with friends and girlfriends, and you understand that you do not like this idea, it is better to immediately discuss this point with a partner and thus avoid problems of mutual understanding in the future.

Tell us about your desires. Often people do not tell each other about their needs and desires. It’s better not to make your partner guess what he should do for you and how to act in this or that situation. It is important that both of you understand this. In the event that one of the partners shows constant care, and the other behaves more detached, as a result, one will begin to feel forgotten and unnecessary, and the other depressed. Such relationships are not healthy and therefore do not be afraid to be vulnerable - talk to each other about your wants and needs.

Learn to say "NO". Don't forget that it's okay to try to give your partner something that will make them happy, but sometimes you just need to know how to say no. You and your partner need to understand and accept the fact that you can't always do everything your partner wants. In addition, if you are not afraid to refuse, your partner's respect for you may even grow. It is the ability to defend your interests that can increase the level of trust between you. The main thing is to learn to respect each other's personal boundaries and not go to extremes.

Tell the truth. In a relationship, you learn your partner so well that you understand their body language and facial expressions better than anyone else. And it is quite obvious that attempts to hide the truth will be declassified. So that you both do not have to blush, feel embarrassed - be honest with each other. The most reliable and unshakable connection between people occurs when a person knows that he can believe every word of his loved one.

Be true to your partner. Your relationship will quickly become obsolete if one of the partners lacks the concept of loyalty and devotion. Of course, there are times when people recover from infidelity, but this will take a lot of time and the help of a psychologist. Therefore, it is very important to discuss the topic of loyalty in advance, to indicate your understanding of loyalty, personal boundaries and agree to be faithful to each other. And if it happened in your life that your relationship no longer brings you joy, it is better to sign up for a consultation with a psychologist, and do not look for a lover on the side.
No ulterior motives, just love.in a relationship, both of you need to be sure that you are loved as a unique person, and not because of some other reason. Hidden motives may be your financial condition, charming appearance, or simply the fear of loneliness. Try to understand yourself in order to be sure that you are together with a person in mutual sincere love.

Relationships are a priority. It often happens that over time we take our partner for granted. Because of this, we neglect the interests and desires of each other. To prevent this from happening, try not to distance yourself from your partner by investing your time and energy in other people. Always remember your priorities and the person you have chosen. If you truly value your relationship, it will be at the top of your list. Give your relationship enough time, spend leisure time together, arrange interesting pastime for yourself and appreciate each other.

Remember that in any relationship there are difficulties and hardships. However, if you keep an open mind about difficulties and work together to solve problems, the level of trust in your relationship will only grow.