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What is romance in a relationship and what is it not?
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What is not romance?
Before proceeding to the definition, let's figure out together what romance is not.
Romance doesn't mean love
In any relationship, love is more important than romance. Love is spiritual, it is a connection, it is an obligation, it is a noble promise made to each other. If someone thinks, "My partner doesn't love me because he never does anything romantic," he better put that lie out of his mind. The apostle John said, "Let us not love in word or tongue, but in deed and in truth." (1 John 3:18)
Love does not mean sex.
Sex can be romantic. Solomon said, "These are three things that I can't explain, even four that I don't understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship in the sea, and the way of a man to a girl" (Proverbs 30:18-19). Think about what Solomon described: when a girl first enters into an intimate relationship with her husband, he should be meek, patient, and unselfish with her. He cannot think only of himself. He needs to be gentle with her, to relax her, and for this he needs to make her feel safe.
What is romance

Romanticism is an expression of appreciation and value. He says "You are special to me and I want to celebrate in your honor"! Romance is a way to let your partner know that you don't take his love for granted.

Romance says, "You're just as important to me!"

Your partner wants to know that you are still worried about his happiness. He would like to know that you continue to notice the value he or she brings to your life. Romance indicates that you can still make sacrifices for your loved one. For this reason, flowers and walks together are important: take your time or spend your hard-earned money to buy a gift or organize an event for your spouse. What really matters is the intent.

Romanticism says: "I know you!"

Everyone wants to know and be known. This is how God created us. And in marriage, we want to see the realization of this knowledge. Women don't just want flowers, they want you to know that they are their favorite flowers. And the husband doesn't just want sex, he wants to know that you still find him attractive, that you enjoy being around him. We all want our life partners to love us both inside and out, we want to know that they appreciate us, that they appreciate both our personality and our quirks.
Romance indicates that you do not consider your partner's love to be only his responsibility.
Marriage expert Dennis Rainey once said that marriage is like two boats in the ocean. If you turn off both engines, the boats will naturally move away from each other.
Similarly, if efforts to stay emotionally close (that is, with engines on) are not made by both parties, one day, you may suddenly realize that you are strangers to each other.
Romance gives the couple the opportunity to create special memories and strengthen the bond between them, so it will last for years.

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