Most people believe love is a feeling. The truth is that love is so much more than sexual attraction, or warm feelings at the thought of a person you like.

No, love is not a feeling but an act of will. My marriage lasted 19 1/2 years before I lost my wife to illness. In all those years my love for her was not based upon having warm fuzzy feelings all the time. The truth is that she often made me upset or angry, but I chose to stay with her despite not feeling love at those moments. I made and she made a conscious choice to work things out and LOVE each other despite how we felt.

So if love is not just a feeling but more of a decision that we make, what is the difference? Feelings come and go like leaves on a windy autumn day. They can be tossed about by the craziness of life. When you understand that you can choose to love someone your actions are no longer dictated by emotions.

Initial attraction will fade and those giddy warm fuzzy feelings will fade with time. However, having your mind set on loving someone despite how you feel is how a marriage and relationships last the test of time.

I was raised in an abusive home with a father who beat and abused me and my family. When I was old enough, God wanted me to forgive my father for all that he had done to us as a family. I even confronted my father telling him that I forgave him.

I wish I could say that my actions changed him, but it set me free of anger and the pain. I chose to love and honor my father even though he was not deserving of such forgiveness. Ultimately anger and resentment have a way of hurting us more than the person who offended us. Choosing to love him set me free. I did not have emotional love toward my father but I chose to love him anyways.

This is a powerful tool of freedom and clarity in a person's life. Love is not a feeling but an act of your will.