1. DANGEROUS WORD "SHOULD"
Questions of modality are the basis of the foundations of the psychology of leadership. From a huge number of nuances and semantic categories, we bring out the very essence: every time the word “necessary” is heard in a conversation, denoting duty and obligations, it is worth asking the question “Who needs this?”. Even if a work question is at stake, it is important to understand whether it is you who needs to carry out this or that task, whose bonuses will be in the end, and what is the indicator of this “must”? Manipulators are silent about the fact that they need what they want first of all. By the way, one of the main manipulation arenas of your life is the family. So, parents often demand obedience from their children even where it destroys their individuality, and children sit on the neck of their parents, who think that it is still “necessary” to support a negligent child. Unfortunately, we are not always able to pose questions in such a way that they have already been “cleared” of manipulative attitudes. To do this, you just need to tell the truth and talk about yourself and your motivation, and not give assessments, imposing on the interlocutor the position of a person who is in debt.
It is important not to confuse really important situations that require your efforts and involvement (submission of a quarterly report, deadlines, etc.), and situations where “must” has nothing to do with your desires and needs.
2. THE POWER OF PROMISES
Everything in life is simple. Never promise anything to anyone unless you're sure you'll keep it. And if you promised, keep it. Sometimes we make rash promises under pressure from other people who will later exploit your guilt. To prevent this from happening, it is better to immediately refuse or answer that you cannot promise for sure than to become addicted later.

3. DO NOT SHOW UNNEEDED INITIATIVE
With good intentions, we often make things worse. If you are not asked for help, it is best not to offer it. At best, over time, your efforts will be taken for granted. And in the worst case, you will be to blame: it is quite possible that the girl whose heel is stuck in the grating of the coating has set up the situation in order to meet a handsome guy, and you will ruin everything with your help. Therefore, before helping, make sure that the person really needs it. And here's another. The most wrong situation of all possible is to ask for someone. The law “You have to - you do it” only seems selfish - in fact, you can avoid a lot of unnecessary problems that you don’t even think about initially. The desire to help must be clearly balanced against the possible risks in case something goes wrong: this is the logic of the guarantee.

4. DON'T HESITATE TO ASK FOR SERVICE IN RETURN
Any request implies gratitude. Any! Only manipulators tend to give empty promises or forget about the services if you did something for them. If you have fulfilled the request, then do not be shy and ask for a favor in return. Perhaps even in advance, at the moment of the promise to do what you are asked.

5. LIVE IN THE PRESENT
The past was, the future has not yet arrived. There is only the present. Only the ability to live the present moment with pleasure can bring you closer to happiness. If suddenly they try to make a popular manipulation with you “You weren’t like that before”, comparing with you in the past, don’t react to it. It is the same with the promises of mountains of gold in the future. Ask: "It will be later, but what do you propose now?".

6. ONE MAGIC PHRASE
Remember these simple words that work real miracles. The phrase “Do not interfere, please” is magic, power, energy. Say it before you get angry or annoyed, and so many negative situations simply won't happen.

7. CRISIS AND ERRORS ARE NECESSARY FOR GROWTH
It is important to understand that only a very weak person can be broken by failure. Every challenge is an opportunity to change and grow. If suddenly someone wants to remind you of your failures in order to hurt, react calmly and confidently: any experience is good, there is no good or bad, there is only your attitude.