What are the most common reasons for cheating?
In 2017, they conducted one of the largest studies on this topic, interviewing about 500 people who have ever cheated in a relationship. Most of them (88%) were heterosexual. The average age is 20 years old. From these surveys, it was possible to identify the main and common causes of cheating.



Disappearance of love. Interestingly, this does not necessarily apply to the betrayer. Sometimes love disappears from a faithful partner, and the other, out of anger or resentment, wanting to cause jealousy, cheats. However, more often love disappears and appears to another person, with whom betrayal occurs. The one who cheats - does not have time or is afraid to break off the relationship before entering into a new romantic / sexual relationship. In this case, the gap occurs one hundred percent, with the exception of situations where there is a dependent or abusive behavior of one of the partners.



Desire for variety. Cheating for this reason is usually impulsive, accidental and without further relationship between "one-off" partners. Internal dissatisfaction or boredom in existing relationships accumulate and, under appropriate circumstances, can push a person to betrayal. Such betrayals are usually hidden or let out and do not prevent the relationship from continuing if a devoted partner is able to forgive a non-serious relationship on the side. However, a need that has arisen once can arise again. Therefore, it is important to work on relationships and add to them what is missing. In addition, there is a possibility of unconscious polygamy or polyamory of a person. Since these topics are not very actively covered in society, some people may not know important facts about themselves and their sexual needs, enter into monogamous relationships, change impulsively, subconsciously trying to close their own needs, and this hurt their partner and themselves.



Lack of attention from a partner. Often the cause of infidelity is a deep feeling that the person is being neglected. Surveys have shown that this reason is more common among women, while others are equally common for all genders. Feeling rejected in a relationship, a person seeks attention from others, which can lead to treason. As a rule, this only harms the relationship, without making up for the feeling of lack of attention. In such a situation (in fact, as in all others), you need to work with a psychologist or family therapist. The need for attention, the feeling of inner emptiness and one's own inferiority without the attention of another person are the bells of a psychological problem.



To improve self-esteem. This reason is closely intertwined with the previous one, but it concerns only one person, not counting the attitude or amount of attention of the partner. Low self-esteem is like a parasite that eats a person from the inside and can never get enough. For some, these feelings push into a depressive and apathetic state, despair. Someone starts looking for quick ways to feel better. Flirting and cheating is one such method. Yes, in fact, this does not solve the problem at all, but only exacerbates the situation of the current relationship. For a while, self-esteem seems to rise, but after realizing one's own guilt in front of a partner, it can fall even more.



"It happened" or "at that moment I really wanted it." Otherwise, such a betrayal can be called situational. Circumstances have developed in such a way that it has become possible, accessible and desirable. Note that this explanation is rather inconsistent for monogamous people. Based on the term itself, it can be assumed that such a situation is impossible, because monogamy means that a person is romantically and / or sexually interested in only one person, to whom there are deep feelings and loyalty. Therefore, it makes sense to get to know yourself and your sexual/romantic inclinations more deeply. After all, a polygamous person in a monogamous relationship will be unhappy or make his partner unhappy, cheating and cheating.

Is cheating bad?
In general, from the position of a psychologist, it is very difficult to say that treason is evil, and the betrayer is a scoundrel. Indeed, psychological problems are always pushing for treason: rejection or unawareness of oneself and one's desires, certain unsatisfied needs, etc. Definitely, betrayal brings pain and disappointment to a devoted person, it can acutely injure and even lead to depression. Therefore, it turns out that in the end, both the traitor and the one who was cheated on suffer.

That is why it is so important to seek qualified help in a timely manner, especially when things get out of hand. If you catch yourself thinking about cheating or have already cheated on your partner, this does not mean at all that you are a bad person. This may indicate that there is something that you are not yet able to cope with, or that you are not able to understand in yourself. The best solution in this case would be a trip to a psychologist.