Rule 1. Learn to articulate grudges and don't hoard them
It would seem that there is something wrong: you didn’t like that your husband threw socks on the floor, or that your wife left her hair in the bathroom after bathing. Well, tell me about it directly, and everything will be fine. But no, both men and women act differently: many accumulate resentment, and then explode. Do not do it this way. Even if it seems to you that the partner is deliberately mocking you (and this is not the case with loving couples), he cannot read your thoughts. And until you say out loud that you don’t like something, it’s pointless to be angry. The human brain is designed in such a way that it needs time to adapt, and if something always happened and you did not comment on it, despite your inner protest, your partner will consider the claim unfounded, even if you are very offended.

Rule 2. Prepare for the conversation
No matter how funny it may sound, before swearing, write down your resentment and look at it from the side. Most often, this helps to find out that we are offended not by the fact that happened, but by what is behind it. For example, you spent half a day in the salon, and your husband did not notice that you did at least something with yourself. It may seem that absent-mindedness offended you, but inattention actually hurts. In such a situation, indifference is felt - they say, "I'll die, but you won't notice" - and it is this that worries, and not hair color or manicure. Or you ask to nail a shelf, and your husband promises for six months and does not do it. At this moment, the point is again not in the regiment, but in the fact that a loved one ignores your request.

Rule 3: One Conversation, One Problem
Of course, the best war is the one that didn’t exist, but if it came to a quarrel, then it’s worth making a rule not to lump everything together. No need to remember each other all the sins up to the tenth generation. One conversation, one problem. Someone didn't take out the trash? Discuss only this. Spent all your money on rags? We are talking about why it was not right. Do not blow each other's brains and do not wind your nerves. The conflict is needed so that the issue is resolved in the interests of the two sides, and not just to shout at each other.