Hello everyone. I hope you are all well in spite of recent flu outbreak. I feel so much ike sharing some thoughts today with everyone but I also feel I am not in the best frame of mind to do it properly. I will share this. I receive so many letters. Thank you so much for taking time to write. If you fear that I have not received your letter just write another one! This action will help me also to find you. Do not be hurried. I have a Russian friend named Alex. He says to me "Alan! Look at me. I am Russian but I am not rushin'!" So I have always been in a hurry and continually I have to excercise my patience. If we are meant to comunicate, then it will happen in the fullness of time. If we are meant to be together after meeting on this site, then it will happen. Don't worry, be happy.
I do have some thoughts as recently we men have posted some similar thoughts of sincerity. I may not have come back here for all the right reasons, but I am always changing as I grow and learn. Now I feel as though I might be ready to find my love and soulmate for our lives to live in happiness, but I might be wrong about the timing of my readiness. Perhaps I need more time, I don't know for certain. I do know that I need friendship before romance now. Sure I am a man, and you all know the men in your country who are influenced by societies evil ways, but to appeal to the lusts of my eyes or any other man's is to court the potential for failure. Instead with me, sure I like to be tempted sometimes, but can you imagine the potential hurt if we succeeded in finding each other and we are married but we failed to learn each other personally and we did not get along. So many bad possibilities after that. Instead look into the lens as if it is my lens with my eyes behind it, and tell me something with your look. I want to see your face and your eyes. Sure you have a sexy bum now, but it is not a window to your soul and spirit. As our passion cools later in life we will not wake up and see eachothers faces or bodies, but rather we will awaken to the person who we love on the inside and who loves us on the inside. Eyes closed or open we make that connection Spirit to Spirit. It will start with our eyes, then it will continue as words teach each other true feelings and true personalities. Speak in your letters, from the bottom of your heart. Let truth be a foundation for building trust and love and having comunication.
Here are 2 poems I wrote last year which I want to share.
"Changing"
wake up, the times are changing.
population of the world is aging
the new generation has no voice
too busy playing with their toys
to notice the deafening noise
the signal the whole earth is poised
at the edge of death and speeding onward
while we continue to blindly wander
about our daily businesses
and games and fun and guinesses
until tomorrow we will abruptly blunder
into a world completely gone under
neath an ocean of theft and debt
with no more air to make a bet
We will awake to chains and fetters
placed on us by our supposed betters
which we allowed in our stupid blindness
to be used while amused and totally blinded
to a machine of debt and slavery
and as it collapses we need bravery
to rise above what we see and recognize
the last important thing in our lives
is being able to look in each other's eyes
and share the freedom of each other's time

"Eyes"
Eyes
Like two bright stars in utter darkness
or two gems like pools of water that are the only oasis
Wings
Of a hawk hunting me screaming something in my head.
"Look!" They said
and as I look hard I hear
"Run!"
but where to run in the baking sun of the empty desert of freedom
Not away! but toward the huntress and the wings of the only shade
that hides my eyes from the burning sands of time
Yours
I am like a mouse in your trap of my mind's own making
Stuck like a deer in the headlights of your stare I can't bear to imagine

breaking
I can't break free but I wouldn't dare, it's too exciting
Trapped
Your eyes have me captivated and I'll wait like I have always waited
and I'll hope for your eyes to meet mine and instead of blinking to nothing

like smoke from the fire they'll stay,

and as our eyes meet in the roaring silence will resonate
Hey!

Love. taken, given back, unlost, time unwasted,
bound with the chains of freedom from falling
down to the hell of loneliness that I've found
in all the places that escape your eyes;
I hope you'll look at me forever
for my spirit it is air and water

Thanks again for taking time to share my thoughts with me. I'll have more, no doubt, as long as I breath. But for today I want to close with a plea. Please write me from the heart. I will not wake up everyday 20 years from now to turn over on the pillow and look at your bum. You know? We may all get excited from time to time my physical things. I want to be excited by you as a person in the decades we may have in our future. Look into the lens as if my eyes are behind it taking the picture. Tell me something with your look and your expression that will help me learn who you are. Tell me something from your heart. Be honest with yourself, do not have fear of me or what I think. Tell me what you think. I have written letters but I have not sent one! I am waiting for more. Please write your book about you and us, one long letter at a time. Do not think that I am not reading or that I will surely pass by. Think instead that I am waiting for another one before I decide to dive down from above and land beside you. Thank you again so much for sharing with me all your thoughts and feelings and experiences. Photo from today, Saturday Jan. 30 Happy last weekend of first month of new year!!! Enjoy it, crazier weeks are coming.
Sincerely
Alan