1
Wife to husband:
Sasha, why are you always angry?
- Yes, because I'm Vitalik!

2
Chief to subordinate:
- Where were you? I've been looking for you all morning!
Repaired:
– Yes, a good worker is always hard to find!

3
The girl texts the guy:
- Honey, if you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you smile, send a smile. If you cry, send your tears...
He:
- I'm in the toilet. What to send?