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How hard to be a lonely mother
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Time passed, and I was winged. Somehow I crawled out of the acute state of “I’ll go out the window right now” and moved to the level “I hate my life, youth is passing me by, I regret that I gave birth.” I lived in this state for about six months, while we went on vacation to Turkey with six-month-old children, it would seem that it should have been easier. In the summer, I got a hobby: I started baking cakes, at first I just liked the process, I treated my friends with pleasure, then I decided to make some money on it. Soon I opened my own travel agency.

My nervous state was completely exhausted, there were breakdowns, tantrums and major scandals. Over time, I have decided that my emotional state is dearer to me, and I do not want my children to grow up with a sense of normality.

To be honest, modern forces have increased. I re-glued the hallway right at the beginning of January, started getting tattoos, got a new haircut, I had more energy.

To be honest, it’s very hard for me, because I don’t have any support from relatives. My cousin agreed to come once a month so that I could go out and rest. The most frightening thought is that if something happens to me, I have no one to turn to, my old and sick mother. You have to endure all illnesses on your feet, drag silopopty one and a half year olds to doctors and all instances, sometimes girlfriends help out, the same mothers with children whom I met during walks, I can sometimes throw off their children for a couple of hours to go to resolve the issue at a travel agency, For example.

I am 37, I have two sons, 11 years old each, I have no relatives, and I can’t meet anyone, it’s not particularly interesting for any man to wait for me for weeks until I can escape for an hour to drink coffee. I feel like my life is passing by. The only thing that pleases me is that my life is now in my hands, that my psychological state is quite stable. I realized that I would not put up with any shit, “would be nice next to me”, I have the strength to defend my boundaries and my dignity. It's just sad that this happened. How is my day going? the children woke up every day at six in the morning, sometimes we walked in the morning, if there was a mood, sometimes I work. I do all the household chores and work with the children and my sick mother. When the children slept, I rested - I watched a movie or something else. We go shopping together. Most often walked in the evening with girlfriends and their children. After the lights out at 8–9 o’clock, I finalized and arranged vouchers, watched movies, and wanted to learn programming. You need to distract yourself with something so as not to be sad.

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