In 2020, due to the pandemic and the restrictions associated with it, many are faced with the fact that personal relationships had to be transferred online. At the same time, novels quite often begin with a long-distance relationship. What are the features of such interaction and what mistakes should be avoided.

Should you start a long distance relationship?

First of all, let me remind you that, as a rule, all romantic relationships are initially relationships at a distance (if you have concerns about this format, then perhaps this thought will cheer you up a little). Nowadays, no one starts dating with a wedding and living together (I don’t take extreme cases into account), and the first meeting and initial communication increasingly takes place on the Internet, and not in the real world.The period of getting to know each other, associated with the search for common ground, the development of rules for interaction, the formulation of prohibitions, and falls on the very “travelling” format, when partners mostly meet either somewhere in public places or on the territory belonging to each of them or online.In this sense, relationships at a distance (at least in the initial phase), in essence, are not so different from the face-to-face format. Perhaps it is worth noting that when communicating at a distance, the effect of rose-colored glasses can be more pronounced - when we look at a partner not realistically, but prefer to rely on our own fantasies about him: at first, this effect is supported not only by hormones, but also by whether there is we have the opportunity to move into the field of real interaction or not.
Otherwise, long-distance relationships are just as capable of giving us a cocktail of very different, sometimes conflicting sensations and emotions, for which (not least) we are looking for a romantic partner: euphoria, delight, surprise, doubt, fear, rage, happiness.
But after a while, partners in whatever format they meet, the question invariably arises: what's next?


How to maintain a long distance relationship

Let's be honest: it's not easy. First of all, because any serious relationship requires a predictable prospect, if not a life together, then the possibility of regular meetings live. It is very important for a couple to have common goals in the future, to make common plans.
In a long distance relationship, there must be an element of hope for compatibility - without this, they quickly fade away. It is impossible to imagine a long distance relationship in which partners do not live together at all even from time to time and have nothing in common in the physical, real world.
Try to discuss the plans of each of you and look for intersections: if we are talking about weekends or vacations, try to figure out where to really spend this time together.
Long distance relationships are always a challenge. It is worth noting that people with a special psychological profile often choose this format voluntarily - it is often difficult for them to stay in the presence of loved ones for a long time, since they do not know how to maintain a sense of their own autonomy without a sense of guilt or shame. Probably, during their growing up, parents or close adults did not set an example of harmonious coexistence with a partner, and they do not know how it is to be with someone for a long time without the desire to distance themselves territorially.
It can be difficult for such people to cope with the emotions that overwhelm them in a relationship, and one of the main options for solving this difficulty they see physical separation, withdrawal or departure.
In other words, sometimes long distance relationships are not a forced decision due to circumstances, but a purposeful vector for the development of interpersonal interaction. Only those people who in one way or another complement each other in their need to territorially regulate proximity can stay in such unions for a long time.In such a case, changing the format of the relationship may require the person to make a major change in how he or she interprets their feelings when the partner is physically around. Often, the help of a psychotherapist is required here, since behavior patterns are a stable thing, and their correction takes time and effort.