Envy appears when another person has something that we want, but cannot afford. Like many of our mental characteristics, envy is one of the adaptations of a person to the world. In practice, this reaction does not always occur. Remember for yourself: does envy help you achieve something, or rather brings discomfort, anger and a feeling of dissatisfaction with yourself?

Envy "black" and "white".

Each of us experiences jealousy in different ways. But there are two main paths we follow:

White envy (useful). For example, when we think "What a beautiful car the neighbor has! I wish I had one too. We need to do something and achieve the same!";

Black envy (destructive). For example, we think, “What kind of car does the neighbor have, but I don’t have one. If only his car burned down and we would become equal.”

Feel the difference? The same feeling in the same circumstances affects us differently. Feeling jealous is normal. But it is important that envy contributes to your success, stimulates you to take action.

How to envy correctly?

We get jealous when others have what we don't have. In what cases does such a situation begin to stimulate us to action? This is possible when the object of desire seems achievable to us. When we realize that we too can get what we don't have yet.

If a feeling of self-doubt is superimposed on envy, then it becomes destructive. We think that in principle we cannot achieve what our competitor has, so we want him to lose the object that causes us discomfort.

Hence the simple conclusion: self-confidence helps to envy correctly. One of the most famous researchers of envy, Jacques Lacan, notes that when we envy, we do not so much want the object itself that caused this feeling, but rather strive to be in the place of the person who possesses this object. We don't need a millionaire's car. We want to become that millionaire ourselves.
Hence one more conclusion: if we are satisfied with ourselves, do not want to become someone else, then our envy will be kind and with minimal manifestations of discomfort.
And we will be able to rejoice in the achievements of others, use their positive experience and achieve success.